75% of academic productivity is driven by a completely irrational fear of being scooped: that someone, somewhere, is doing your work faster and better than you. Yall are fucking NEUROTIC.

There is nothing I love more than watching Trump turn on one of his true believers because they got caught between toadying and the law. And I’ve had a 6 day old cake while tanking an absolutely brilliant UM1 renewal app.

Strongly disagree. When critiquing a competing lab’s submission do your best to undermine the confidence and self-respect of everyone there from the PI to the lab manager’s kindergarten child.

Kris Willis@kawillis.bsky.social · last wk.

One of the best things I was taught by my advisor: direct your critique at the work, never the people.

With Trump giving the eulogy, Graham is getting the ceremony he deserves. Full of lies, he’s an afterthought at his own funeral.

Movie/series franchise pitch: Kurt Cobain and Mitch Hedberg team up to solve cold cases in a madcap, true-crime alternative-history show. By turns gritty (heroin!) and absurd (one liners!) K&M take on: The JonBenet Ramsey case! Chandra Levy’s murder! The 2001 Anthrax Mailings!

I guess the good news is that dying suddenly on a return trip from Ukraine when it’s basically your only point of disagreement with Trump is unlikely to start any conspiracy theories.

I will not tolerate this remaining in British hands. Am going full-Stephen-Decatur. Patriots assemble!!! We sail on INDEPENDENCE DAY. www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2026...

‘Vanishingly rare’ copy of US Declaration of Independence found by volunteer in UK archives

One of 11 surviving copies of ‘Exeter printing’ and only one known outside US was taken from American privateer ship

theguardian.com

Hate, piety, and patriotism are all born of the same thick urge: The bilge water of terror, the sick-yellow sump we crouch at in the night, bright-eyed evil stalking outside a circle of traps and torches, while we squat pleading

If I’m honest, the Cambrian Explosion was a mistake.

If 1000 J6 rioters each get a million dollars from this slush fund, 998 of them will be bankrupt in 18 months. I say this is worth it for the schadenfreude.

I am bitter, strange, and violent A lungful of smoke Held quaking in the savage calm I cultivate at the forestep of impending How long can I tremble on the red limned edge of rage

Are you kidding? This is the best news ever. Toxically masculine dipshits injecting nonsterile fluids directly into their reproductive organs? It’s perfect. Bring on the Fournier’s gangrene!

Dave Baltrus 🦦@surtlab.bsky.social · 3mo ago

Yeah, maybe it’s time we press restart on this game

The Trump administration is teaceably responsible for millions of deaths, of disease and malnutrition, due to the elimination of aid with no structure to replace it. I applaud their acceleration of humanity’s population decline, and look forward to a greener Earth for my grandcubs.

Listen up, dipshits, ive solved science funding. Every October 1st, i will send invites to the 16,000 best scientists in America. You will gather in a major domed stadium. And I will drop $53B from the ceiling. After that, it’s up to you to fund your labs.

You know what’s better than an LLM? What if I told you you have a tool right now that could ingest the world‘s great works of literature, science, history, and art, and then you could use those to generate new ideas anytime you wanted? Furthermore, it’s free.

It’s a shame that nobody manages the lactation of donkeys, so that we could say I want a nice cold glass of ass milk.

Never. Never. Let an opportunity to fuck with a friend pass by. @chrispickett5.bsky.social get ready for the replyallpocalypse for the END TIMES.

This graph is unclear, obviously but there is a profoundly muddleheaded understanding of the word “excels” for something that is correct 52% of the time. Yes, the other models seem to be astonishingly bad but “usually beats a coin flip by a small margin” is not worth crowing about.

🧬Jacob L Steenwyk@jlsteenwyk.bsky.social · 4mo ago

I built an agent (XXYYZZ) that excels at answering scientific questions. XXYYZZ was benchmarked against HLE-gold (149 human-verified questions from HLE). Totally at a loss for what to do with it. Any recommendations?

When someone accuses you of shaming them, they are saying: “I am already ashamed of this and I don’t want you to know it or see it.” You cannot shame someone for something they don’t think is shameworthy. It doesn’t work, it rolls off of them. But if they feel shame they despise? They attack.

When I am president, and god forbid one day I should be, this entire administration would be extradited to Iran to face justice.

Ok. The “Five nights on Epstein island” game. Ready? Here’s the take: So fucking what. Is it offensive? Yeah. Is it desensitizing your kids to sexual abuse? No. If one of the bear cubs were playing would I have a convo? Yes. Would I worry for their soul? No. Get over it. Moral panic unjustified.

OMGOMGOMG I HAVE A PENDING CASE STUDY INTHE NEJM!! “Mrs Dr Bear, unable to find tahini, asserts there was no more. Mr Dr Bear glances at pantry, finds immediately.”

And I want to be clear here: I’m not just talking about spiritual faith. Having faith in anything is bullshit. Even your fellows. If you don’t have evidence, a pattern? Don’t trust it. Don’t believe in it. If it’s supported by a stable track record it isn’t faith. It’s statistics.

NIH Bear @nihbear.bsky.social · 4mo ago

Can we maybe finally admit that all faith is toxic, all religion is divisive, and ideologies inevitably drive salvageable people to commit vile atrocities? No? All right keep killing each other, dipshits.

Can we maybe finally admit that all faith is toxic, all religion is divisive, and ideologies inevitably drive salvageable people to commit vile atrocities? No? All right keep killing each other, dipshits.

HAPPY PURGE DAY!!! Jesus is dead today, so all sin is legal.

Nothing lives rent free in my head. Every last thought I have pays rent. This is why you’re still living at home, Gen Z.

Happy Successful Operation to Execute the False Messiah Day to all who celebrate.

On this most holy of holidays I would like to remind everyone to shut the fuck up and leave the jokes to the professionals. Your idea isn’t funny or clever.

Buy this book or I swear to fucking god I will tank your next submission at study section. I will slaughter your lab assistants. I will poach your department’s best-funded associate professor. I will overturn every dumpster on your campus.

Chris Pickett@chrispickett5.bsky.social · 4mo ago

Well I'm incredibly nervous. My memoir, The People United, is now available for preorder! Bookshop: tinyurl.com/ThePeopleUni... B&N: www.barnesandnoble.com/w/the-people... Amazon (ebook only): www.amazon.com/dp/B0GHPFWR99/ Other ebook vendors: books2read.com/u/bx2vo6

I’m old enough to recall when being a war profiteer made you a pig fucking outcast, not a savvy investor.