ꜱ ᴛ я ᴀ ʏ

@nrrvs.bsky.social

nǝrrvous creature(s) ɪᴛ / ᴛʜᴇʏ buyer beware: worthwhile or coherent content cannot be guaranteed.

i think for midwest emo to really hit like it’s meant to, it really does have to come from the american midwest. that kinda existentialism only really breathes in the cornfields and the plains and dead-end suburbia.

there should be an easy way to have a dialogue info prompt that appears when i talk about “my mom” that explains this title is not in reference to a biological parent but instead a complicated kink dynamic where someone is intentionally reparenting my inner child.

i know this summer is gonna be so fucked up weather-wise. i just wish the cool rainy weather would hold on longer. i don’t want the fires and heat and smoke and impossible-to-be-outside shit. i just wanna sit and listen to the rain

it’s possible that’s it’s their own denial talking but the systems that i know, often, will distance themselves from DID (“i don’t have DID but….”) in conversations about plurality. and, as a system with a diagnosis and in therapy for it specifically, it makes me feel…kinda alien.

i remember, as a kid, when we played ‘house’, i wanted to be a) the family pet (???? making up roles no one asked for) or b) moody teenager (a thing i only vaguely had a concept of via tv tropes). and then i aged up and somehow managed to become exactly those things. incredible.

me: got like $20, should prolly make that last as long as possible also me: it’s nat’l donut day, i should buy $16 worth of donuts to show appreciation to a local business AND the team of workers installing a/c in the house im living in!! my budget/wallet: ☠️☠️☠️

processing the apparent truth that nearly every friend i have expects that we’ll go for a walk if we’re hanging out. like. that’s a universal truth that people expect. i didn’t know!! it’s true but i never realized until Just Now!!

so two little kids, a carpenter, a crust punk, a skater, a hippie, a housewife/homemaker, and a sheltered academic walks into a bar. “fuck me” it says, holding its forehead in pain.

distortion reverberates over the speaker. marquam hill and ross island bridge dissolve into rural midwestern fields; a sun-bleached asphalt expanse cuts across it like a knife. i yank the aux cable from the stereo and dive head first back into the here and now and take the exit for the hospital.