Here's a fun comparison of stress levels 1. May, end of school, insane busy packing up my class to move, etc 2. July, summer break 3. This first week back to school Teens-20s is chill time 30s is hectic but ok 40s is bad times 50s usually means I'm bedridden with illness.

Yoo

Jfc can you not

Hey, Wednesday. I kinda hate you. Don't take it personally. I hate all the days.

Most days I feel like my arms are just flab. Then I catch my reflection when the light is just right and boom bicep.

It's monochrome Monday! I'm wearing an adorable Star Wars tee, but after 30 failed attempts, I've decided 2 things: (1) I can't show you w/o it looking like I'm trying to show you boobs (I'm not) & (2) b/c of the physics of boobs, you can never see all the design in one pic.

Out to brave the commercial world. I really need to find some clothes that help my hourglass-but-too-short-torso disfigurement 🤣🤣🫶🔪✌️

Therapist: so if your child was in a coma, or became profoundly disabled, she'd still matter, still have worth? Me: yes absolutely. No question. Therapist: but not you? Me: yeah no, absolutely not. Instantaneously worthless. Therapist: okay, we're definitely changing *that* belief set

A poem

Some climbs aren't the fight, some are the escape, & I wrack my soul against these rocks to free myself, to feel myself, to #summit somewhere unstopped by time & lies & past & promises made of smoke & paper flowers that turn to ash in my hands #vss365

Person: what's your deepest fear? Me: someone I don't really know or trust asking me invasive questions about myself to mine info they will probably use against me one day

The sky speaks, but most don't listen. She sings, & sighs. Few memorize her morning poetry, but forgive the paint she spills on night horizons. They ignore the #cadence of her supplication, curse her heat & her ice, pass by & never really know her #vss365

Sun fixes most of my problems

Ah there's my normal numbers

I. Don't. Want. To. Put. Away. Laundry.

The center of gravity moves & I wonder where the universe went when I closed my eyes, the catch in my chest, stomach drop, inner ear, adrenaline floods & I tip backward, #balance lost, spinning, tossed into nothing: the knife's edge cut me unevenly #vss365

I slept. Like REALLY slept. My brain doesn't usually allow this, but apparently the trick is to have my neck at some inhuman angle because I am unable to turn my head much or look down 😅

I would wander the desert a thousand years, #sprint into that sweet oblivion, I would swallow the pillar of salt and unpart the seas, sacrifice every doubt on the altar of truth like the sons I'll never bear you, & sleep sounder in the lions' den than in your bed #vss365

You tell me keep going, as though the steps can move me, as though the time spent passes, as though #momentum will build any moment now, any day now, as though tomorrow will be different from yesterday, as though you never expected me to anyway #vss365

Arthritis flare got my hands pretty rough, so heres my sunset. Im out for the night✌️

Sometimes I see a sparrow savagely beating itself against a #headwind, frozen in the sky as though suspended by wires, making no movement forward, its tiny heart beat fluttering & flailing & I wonder who told her, too, it was laziness to land. #vss365

On the bright side, I'm feeling much more myself today. Ran a mile and a half, but had a *minor* asthma attack. Took an albuterol break, then came back for a slower pace 5k.

I have been impossible so many times, risen from graves that claimed better bodies than mine, climbed to where no air remains, & fallen from skies of fire like flaming rain, & I will conquer this, too, make one last miracle: my north, my wish, my truth #vss365

I managed to talk myself into exercise, showering, washing my hair, drying my hair, and even put on makeup. Today, that felt like climbing Everest, and yet I feel zero pride or even relief in accomplishing it. Brain chemistry sucks sometimes.

*sigh*

Mosely is my spirit animal today... and also interfering with my ability to use a keyboard

Everything hurts and I'm dying, lol

Step 1: wash towels Step 2: dry towels Step 3: remove from dryer, place in basket Step 4: set the basket down for 5 seconds before folding so you can pee Step 5: Fisk.

Have a day✌️🔪🫶

We've seen trees contort & lean to find the sun, flowers face each other in #defiance of night, & dandelions crawl through concrete cracks to earn the light, & through a window screen, a houseplant demands compassion for its roots, cramped with nowhere to grow. #vss365