Chris - Tortured Systems Engineer™️
@optesterchris.bsky.social
Navy (ret) Surface Warfare Officer & missile defender with a side of fries. I taught Zach Mayo everything he knows. A perfectly flawed human. Opinions = my own.
20 days until Starbucks fall menu is released and unleashes Pumpkin Spice Latte and its sugary brand of madness upon us all. Please heed this warning and take all necessary precautions and implement all required safety measures. “The spice must flow.” ~ Harkonnen proverb
Go ahead… Wear the tan suit to that big, big meeting with lots of bigwigs. Get yourself a coffee. Maybe a snack, too.
Tweedledee and Tweedledum… and Tweedledum has another ear infection.
Animals seen on my afternoon walk: - Eastern Tiger Swallowtail (Papilio glaucus) - White-tailed Deer (Odocoileus virginianus) - Eastern Box Turtle (Terrapene carolina carolina) - Virginian Black-coated Treatasaurus (Hottest messus)
Them: Any thoughts on what you and Zola are going to do today? Me: No thanks. Them: You aren’t going to do anything? Me: No, thoughts. Zola and I are cutting back on thoughts.
Today’s To Do List: ✔️ Wake up ✔️ Drink coffee Poop Be awesome
Don’t let her looks and smile fool you… She will never let you sleep in. Ever.
I can hear the song of a roving ice cream truck... It beckons to me like a siren's call. I must resist.
Honestly, I have a lot of in common with the cyclops from the Odyssey. We both live alone. We both love fluffy animals, cheese, sleeping, and Greek food.
🚨 Breaking News 🚨 It’s been confirmed that dogs are still good
We keep you alive to serve this… Choose one of the following: • Ship • Company Name • Government Agency • Military Unit • Pack of wild children • Other Row well, and live. ~ Judah Ben-Hur
I’m pleased to report I have no idea what I am doing but I’m doing it really well!
Made the mistake of looking at my work phone and checking my calendar for Monday:
“Gather around, children. I’m going to tell you about the summer of 2026. There was diarrhea lettuce, heat domes, a war that isn’t a war, a ceasefire that didn’t cease fire, and Canadian wildfires. But we also had Jimothy to give us hope”
Zola has opinions about the current air quality…
The Bangles need to re-record “Hazy Shade of Winter” to reflect today
If you are my friends, I will take you to get pizza and dessert.
The dog days of summer discontent Sun out, tongues out.
I work hard so my dog can live her best life
At Costco, anyone need anything?
After 6 different states, 22 days, and a whole lotta miles my world is back in its proper place.
Me as I woke up this morning and headed out the door for the office:
Bad coffee is better than no coffee at all
🚨🚨🚨 Public Service Announcement 🚨🚨🚨 There is roughly 50-60 days until Pumpkin Spice Latte returns. Prepare yourself accordingly. The spice must flow…