Totally underwhelmed. Dark chocolate - as if. Darkish in colour at best. Taste is minging. … noted it took 6 to work that out
a_musing, sometimes 🏴
@original-ladyv.bsky.social
I always wanted to be something when I grew up. Now realise I should have been more specific. Meanwhile, being the best me I can be 🏴
Suggested criteria for future hosts of the FIFA World Cup: If your nation calls it soccer, you can’t host. If you can’t time 15 minute breaks, you can’t host. If you need half time entertainment, you can’t host. If you have an orange monkey running your country, you can’t host.
So a man gives a 20 minute speech with his flies fully undone. When he asks if he's covered everything we expected, what's the correct response..?
Why is it my dog will drink from the skankiest puddles in the world, but turn her nose up at yesterday’s water in her bowl?
The sweet taste of a free bar cannot be beaten.
Ah, the satisfaction of opening the jar that seemed like it was welded shut. And my wrist aching for hours afterwards. Beetroot was not worth the effort.
Looking forward to doing three days work ahead of having two days off
The early bird doesn’t always get the worm. They often get the best parking space. I’m the worm in this proverb.
Well spring lasted the obligatory 2 days before winter came back saying we’d forgotten something
So it seems to be post picture of your pets day…. Ladies, gents and perfect people, this lovely being is Indie Disco #cutecockapoos #cockapoos
Pretty sure I can say I’ve gone another week not needing to use Pythagoras’ theorem. Thanks Mr Baker.
If you’ve submitted more than 10 content errors on a kindle you should get a free premium book. Or a job offer to proofread their content.
Repairing a bike puncture in your (cough) fifties is not a cool look. Silver linings, it was my first since I hit double digits 👍🏼
Honestly wondering what the excuse is now?
Spent an evening with two Americans and unteaching them all English words they thought they knew. Such fun!
Time for my hourly reminder from @ticketmaster.com to download my ticket for a gig. I might have forgotten if it wasn’t for the 12th reminder
Here’s a big well done to everyone who put their underwear on the right way round this morning.
I’m a senior manager. Some of my best staff management tips come from my previous career teaching 7 year olds but there isn’t really a way to tell my colleagues which doesn’t sound terrible.
fesshole 🧻@fesshole.bsky.social · 5mo agoI'm a teacher. Some of my best behaviour tips come from dog training videos, but there isn't really a way to tell my colleagues which doesn't sound terrible.
Also more awkward ghosting someone IRL when you’ve still got some of your pint left.
Anon Opin@anonopin.bsky.social · 5mo agoAnother reason for the fall of the pub is the rise of online dating sites, specifically hook-up ones. Why go to the pub to have a small chance of meeting someone when you can swipe?
Next coronation sees the monarch crowned with a cardboard crown bedazzled with plastic jewels and wearing a painted pasta necklace.
Anon Opin@anonopin.bsky.social · 5mo agoWe should sell off the crown jewels and invite Blue Peter viewers to design and make lower cost replacements. A bunch of 7 year olds would probably do a better job than whoever saddled us with the current tat.
I’ve had the same office chair for almost 7 years. Today I read the instructions for use and finally have a comfortable ‘seat depth’ 🤦🏼♀️
Time to vacuum pack the winter coats
You know your Egyptian holiday is over when you’ve Shown your passport x5 Been metal detected and felt up x3 Taken your shoes, watch and belt off x2 Had your visa and passport stamped at passport control, then show it to the grumpy shouty man right next to the booth and saw the first guy stamp it🤣
Trying to work out the balance of pettiness and civic minded vibes when neighbours insist on parking two vans across their own drive and beyond making the pavement impassable with a pram (an offence). OH is staring to park our car - fully in the road- to stop it happening
Currently channelling Craig Revel Horwood the vote is open vibes. This is just this morning’s attire. It’s gonna get ‘better’.
