me and noelle watching our new robot vacuum pick up crumbs

my skin looks great right now except for the parts that still look bad

me and the girls are hanging out just chilling passing around a huge crispy egg roll

GERALT: Hhh. Seven Monster cans. Empty. And a diet Dr Pepper. If you're lucky, you've got a pack of small gamers. VILLAGE HEADSMAN: And...and if we're not lucky? GERALT: One really big one.

Screamer Jim@screamerjim.bsky.social · 2y ago

*finger to the air* a turn up god stood here

holding in a burp while noelle films a baking sizzle reel for her ig story 🫡

do we *know* that pablo picasso never got called an asshole? is this verifiable?

last night I was ruminating on a creative dilemma as I fell asleep and then when I woke up in the middle of the night to pee the answer came to me in a bolt of instant clarity. and I'm still giddy about it lol. feeling like august kekule right now

Ads from the back of old ufo/paranormal/occult magazines are the best. Like OF COURSE I'm already in the process of constructing a pyramid in my backyard, I get FATE magazine!

idk why exactly but I love the usage instructions on this bottle of saline spray. "upside down a drop" is like poetry to me

even though I've always been more of a dog person than a cat person, I will say... almost all cats are reasonably cute. some dogs are just not cute to me lol

Spore Corp

I keep getting notifications that morrissey's playing a show in vegas next week and it's supposed to entice me to buy tickets but it feels more like an "emergency - flash flood warning in effect" alert

noelle's (re)watching black sails and I'm only like 10% watching along but I did catch a glimpse of one episode's end credits long enough to see someone credited as "handjob pirate"

macromedia shockwave, print ad (1999) archive.org/details/eu_W...

on my way

Sorry to be Uncle Marxism but employer-based healthcare is a tool of social control for the ruling class

NPR@npr.org · 3mo ago

About 24% of U.S. employees stay in unwanted jobs just for health insurance, a report out Wednesday finds. Up significantly since 2021, the uptick in "job lock" is a concerning sign for the U.S. economy. n.pr/4gQIY5E

watching any amount of cable TV in 2026 almost makes me think "maybe tiktok and shit isn't so bad"

Cannot CHECK PHONE in combat. Cannot CHECK PHONE in combat. Cannot CHECK PHONE in combat. Cannot CHECK PHONE in combat. Cannot CHECK PHONE in combat. You were killed by DARK WIZARD!

I do think pinning this on specifically Taco Bell is weird since many confirmed cases aren’t people who ate at Taco Bell at all and we know the actual source—Taylor Farms—distributes lettuce and other produce to many, many other large food businesses

Taco Bell Quarterly@tacobellquarterly.org · 3mo ago

The Taco Bell finger pointing is a psyop to redirect attention from the real culprit, the deregulation and lack of oversight in our food supply

Grunt. Grunt. Grunt. Grunt. Grunt.

whoa I didn't know people could pick up the phone *while* you're leaving a voicemail. I was in the middle of a spiel with my Voicemail Voice and got jumpscared by the recipient going "oh hey alexa"

J1903.3 Fattening the pig.

losing my mind at how ruthless this sentence is

legal weed is great except for the part where you go to buy it and have to ask the budtender for a 1g cart of Purple Pussy Eater OG and a pack of SnozZzberry Ultimate Kush Droplettes

there's some "osmosis filter mobile pool cleaning" truck in front of a house on our street with two giant tubes sticking out of the side of the truck and unfurled into their backyard. swimming pool dialysis?

made a generator from All Of My Links indarktrees.com/generator/

running to the grocery store after PT but the only things on my list are mangos and bananas

somehow wound up on the restoration hardware mailing list and they just sent me a beautifully printed hundred-page catalog, high-res matte pages, bound with a *spine*, full of nothing but uglyyyy identical cream-colored couches and coffee tables with "raw" wood stains. ten grand apiece