Buying your own private island to live on sounds great. Until you run out of coffee. You can’t just say, “I’ll make a quick run to Wal-mart.” Every errand becomes a journey. #OvertimeBrain #comedy #islandlife #island #coffee
Michael
@overtimebrain.bsky.social
Comedian. Writer. Filmmaker. And most importantly, dog dad. Massive appetite for over-analysis.
There’s a highway that leads right to the Danger Zone. Kenny Loggins has been telling the world about it since 1986. It seems a little irresponsible if you ask me. I think he should apologize, and write a song called, “I shouldn’t have told yo #OvertimeBrain #comedy #danger #kennyloggins #dangerzone
The problem with “Danger Zone,” part one. #OvertimeBrain #comedy #danger #kennyloggins #dangerzone
You go to war with the mower you have. #LawnCare #LawnMowing #Mowing #OvergrownLawn #YardWork
A completely unnecessary historical thought experiment. #OvertimeBrain #comedy #history #deepthoughts #thoughtexperiment
Where it shall become a myth until someone asks you about it. #overtimebrain #comedy #books #bookshelf #reading
Alternative George Washington facts. #history #facts #mississippiriver #trivia #dollar
We want to say fuck you for flying Delta to all of the window-lickers in economy. We regret allowing you aboard, and will do everything we can to make your lives a living hell.
A Special Welcome to Diamond Medallion Members—Everyone Else: Go Fuck Yourself
We want to say fuck you for flying Delta to all of the window-lickers in economy. We regret allowing you aboard, and will do everything we can to make your lives a living hell.
pointsincase.com
It's my first time getting published as a comedian! Head over to @pointsincase.com to give it a read. I hope you enjoy!
A Special Welcome to Diamond Medallion Members—Everyone Else: Go Fuck Yourself
We want to say fuck you for flying Delta to all of the window-lickers in economy. We regret allowing you aboard, and will do everything we can to make your lives a living hell.
pointsincase.com
When learning a new language, I’m basically my dog. I know my name. I know food. And I know where to go potty. So I guess that means I'd be conversationally fluent if I were a golden retriever.
The world is giving us a sixth Air Bud movie in 2027, but we still haven’t gotten a Doggie Howser, M.D.?
Every time I tell someone, “Have a great day,” I worry they think I want the rest of their life to be mediocre. But if I say, “Have a great life,” they probably think I’m being sarcastic. Either way, I look like an asshole. I suppose the polite thing to do is to pretend like they’re not there.
It's like starting Super Mario with a Mario who just grabbed a star instead of tiny Mario. #abortion #eternallife #nintendo #mario
Sometimes there's a reason people drive like complete tools. Read the essay 👇 open.substack.com/pub/overtime...
Sorry for driving like an asshole. I was on my way to defuse a bomb.
I’ve had some time to reflect on my driving throughout the greater metropolitan area last Friday, and some apologies are in order.
open.substack.com
Me when I’m given a simple task but end up overthinking it. #perfectionism #adhdproblems
I’m dying to know the names of everyone’s earbuds. I’ll go first.
The one thing in #HarryPotter that no one ever talks about, but should. #harrypotterworld #harrypotterbooks #harrypottermovies
I can use my face to order tacos on my iPhone. Yet cars don't have vents to suck out farts? Explain, please.
Every time Stephen Miller looks in the mirror, he thinks that he’s been replaced by a Jew.
Fruit in pie is dessert telling you it’s disappointed in your life choices.
Hearing rumors of an upcoming tell-all book by Trump called Rich Dad, Pedophile Dad with a posthumous forward by Jeffrey Epstein.