This is what the spare human sees every time she looks down from her desk. It’s been 3hrs since breakfast and 1hr since my last snack. Do you think she gets my subtle hints? #meow
Pauli the Cat
@paulithecat.bsky.social
1st feline member and official mascot of Brighton St Pauli. Likes football, eating & napping. Hates racists, bagpipes and the hoover.
A terrible injustice has occurred. The spare human opened a tin of tuna while I was asleep. I missed the whole thing. I am now fully awake and giving her this face while she’s eating her Salad Niçoise until reparations are made. #meow
Have pinned down the spare human for an early evening snooze. I like sitting on people and getting my belly fluffed. #meow
My favourite human has made me a nest out of my snuggly blanket (his latest attempt to keep me of his pillow). Now I’m sitting here contemplating the meaning of life. After much reflection, I’ve reached one inescapable conclusion: life is utterly meaningless without tuna or chicken. #meow
It’s officially too hot for a cat of my luxurious fluff level. Fortunately, my humans are finally being useful - serving up chicken ice lollies and a rather refined tuna gazpacho. I suppose I’ll keep them (for now). #meow
The spare humans sister is over! Upon arrival she fed me half a pack of treats and gave me a giant lickie treat. I showed her around the house, pointed out the fridge and explained the concept of milk tax and ham surcharge. Just now we shared a bacon sandwich. New favourite human. #meow
Far too cold and windy to be outdoors today. I’ve therefore stationed myself on the spare human’s lap while she knits. The Icelandic wool is exceptionally warm and suitable for cats of my status. I have temporarily forgiven her for the attempted marmalade toast theft. #meow
Shared marmalade toast with my favourite human today. Convinced him the final piece clearly belonged to me. The spare human attempted an intervention, claiming me being “gluten intolerant” and was met with immediate growling. Situation resolved successfully. #meow
Purely hypothetical question: if someone were to accidentally shred their spare human’s favourite leggings while enthusiastically accepting a lickie treat, and said human then became wildly dramatic about it… what would be the best route back into her good graces? Asking for a friend. #meow
Human discovered me lounging on her very special hand-knitted jumper - the one she spent ages making and insists is “not for cats”. She’s going on about “cat hair” & “pulled threads” like I’m committing a crime. Says I have a blanket I’m supposed to use.Can a cat not have some peace and quiet? #meow
It’s been a while since I’ve received a treat for correctly predicting a result. Pinning down the human until I receive a at least a small consolation snack. #meow
Testing the fresh bed sheets. Didn’t even leave the humans enough time to put down the duvet. They’re a bit mad about it. Probably not as mad as I am about not getting coq au vin last Saturday. #meow
Very funny humans 😾 (I could murder them sometimes). Now, when’s the Easter bunny getting its reward for correctly predicting today’s result? #meow
The humans are back from their trip. Instead of giving me treats to make up for their unapproved absence, I am being love-bombed against my will once again. Outrageous. #meow
I‘m looking forward to my reward for correctly predicting today’s Auswärtssieg. Saw the human bringing home a big piece of meat for tomorrow’s Sunday roast. I suppose I can wait a day… #meow
