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cirrus

@phenomenal-evil.bsky.social

Wishing I was up in the clouds... (pfp by http://favorite-lie.bsky.social/)

210 Posts32 Follower 11 Folgt

cirrus @phenomenal-evil.bsky.social · 6d ago

i dont think this counts as studying lmfao

ID: An expie from casualties: unknown looks out into a dark chasm as it shines its flashlight into the dark. "That's a big fall... I've got no other choice."
The expie is falling to its horrible injury with its stuff falling everywhere. "Fuck"
"Bleeding... I have to stop the bleeding"
A few minutes later...
"I'm not bleeding anymore, but I can't move anything in my right leg!!"
The expie holds its right lower paw with its right arm, and its leg is shaking uncontrollably.
"When I pull on my foot, it won't stop shaking!" (clonus/spastic paralysis)
"Also, when I put something cold against my foot, it goes out instead of down! That's weird..." (positive babinski sign)
Two feet, one showing toes curling inwards which is a normal reflex and another with toes curling outwards which is abnormal.
"These are signs of a upper motor lesion..."
"If I close my eyes, I can't tell where in space my right leg is?" (Loss of proprioception)
"But oh god it hurts so bad!"
"Even though I think I also injured my left leg, it doesnt hurt?" (Loss of contralateral pain)
"Fuck... I lost half my spinal cord..." (Spinal cord hemisection AKA Brown-Sequard syndrome)
A drawing of the health screen with the brain and spinal cord highlighted.
There is an orange line around T10 (belly button).
Three tracts are shown:
1. Corticospinal tract. There are two neurons in this one and it connects your brain to your body to tell it to move. We get upper motor neuron symptoms (clonus, positive babinski, spastic paralysis) because the nerves below get super sensitive to any stimulus so it ends up twitching.
2. Dorsal column medial lemniscus (DCML) tract. Below the injury, you will lose vibration and proprioception since it travels straight up the spinal cord.
3. Spinothalamic (STT) tract. This carries pain. It decussates (crosses) the spinal cord at the level it enters, so you will lose it on the left side, but its ok on the right.

cirrus @phenomenal-evil.bsky.social · last wk.

finished a full piece over the weekend and school is rough this week so sketches will be on hold. unless u wanna see whawt im learning rn. wait actually i could just make sketches with shit im learning maybe that would help. ok get ready....

cirrus @phenomenal-evil.bsky.social · 2w ago

A dream too sweet

cirrus @phenomenal-evil.bsky.social · 2w ago

incoming transmission in three... two...

An excerpt from zato i love the world and everything in it:

The figure of the yordle beside me is bathed in the violent morning rays. His hair is the same color as the blazing hills.
His face is so familiar and warm, it makes my chest hurt.
You... Your name... What’s your name?
Ah?
He turns. I feel as if my body, my entire world has reached a boiling point.

...

We... I feel like I had something very important to do. A message... I think I was supposed to send a message.

...

Little by little, everything burns up. In a few moments the entire planet will combust.

The sun keeps rising. The day’s breaking on the searing peaks. The yordle I know is smiling at me.

This yordle I know. This yordle...

How many times have I seen his face?
How many times has he seen mine?

I can’t say. I really can’t remember.

But I know him better than any other person on planet Earth.
And I think... he knows me better than anyone, too.

I know his eyes have seen me at my worst, and I can only hope they've seen me at my best. Is my best enough to outweigh my worst? I wish I knew.

But he’s still here with me. Even after witnessing my lowest, most embarrassing, most disgusting moments, he’s still giving me such an earnest smile.

The person closest to me...

The person standing in the ring of fire.

My best friend in the whole entire world.

...

Who is my message for? There is only one reasonable answer.

...

cirrus @phenomenal-evil.bsky.social · 2w ago

Oomf is doing daily sketches so I felt motivated to do one (hopefully I can also do these daily)

Also at fd like Oomf drew my OC in pen in like 30 seconds and I tried to draw their sona as a gift back on pencil but it looked so turbo shit even after spending hella time on it so I wanna get to a point I can give a gift that's at that skill level

cirrus @phenomenal-evil.bsky.social · 3w ago

how green is your green

is it better to be true to yourself or be nice to people first?
well i dont think its completely black and --

what drives you forward day after day?
the belief that a better world is possible.

what if it'll always be this way?
it wont.

you'll never be the best.
i know.

how arrogant of you to think you could even be considered their peer.
what's wrong with me trying?

they've dedicated their entire lives to a single craft. yet you could never decide.
i've gotten better havent i?

did you get good enough for it to matter when it counts?
no. but ill get there someday.

you just think you're better than the rest of them.
no... yes, wait no i just --

did you really think you could be one of them?
what else am i supposed to do?

what will you do when they all leave you behind?
they wont

its already happened. or did you leave first because you couldnt bear the thought of it happening to you?
if i get good enough at what i do, theyll have no choice but to need me.

they dont want you for being you, they want you for what you can do. once thats gone, youll be alone again.
unconditional love doesn't exist.

why are you writing this?
because it makes me feel better

why not just keep it to yourself?
the idea that someone out there is listening is comforting. also i like attention.

isnt this what you wanted? in the beginning, and in the end? you just use people.
i give everything i can. i guess we have different ways of expressing gratitude.

yet you refuse to acknowledge theirs.
because they stepped all over mine first!

what makes you happy?
the stars. the clouds. something that draws me in and makes me believe in it. my friends' laughter. a sense of conn--

why do you like the stars?
well, theyre beautiful. they stare down on us from so far above yet dont ask for anything. they shine so bright even if nobody else is there.

how much of this is cope?
all of it... none of it...

salad @saiad.bsky.social · last mo.

artfight 2026 thread :]

cirrus @phenomenal-evil.bsky.social · last mo.

I love when I have like. 4 events that I have stuff due for that converge all on the same day blehhh

cirrus @phenomenal-evil.bsky.social · 2mo ago

i swear ive been drawing artfight you gotta believe me im just really slow. i think i wanna do them in batches so i dont burn myself out coloring cuz i dont like that lmao

DONT LOOK AT THE LEGS ABORT MISSION ABORT ABORT
also my handwriting looks so bad with stabilizer LOL

cirrus @phenomenal-evil.bsky.social · 2mo ago

gonna try and get someone who i wasnt able to revenge last year first as an attack and they got fantrolls . lowkey idk how to draw human faces so them being hs characters are nice cuz they dont have noses LOL. this is my first pose i think i can make the foreshortening a bit more dramatic

cirrus @phenomenal-evil.bsky.social · 2mo ago

i joined a secret santa and i got a pony ive never drawn ponies before

cirrus @phenomenal-evil.bsky.social · 2mo ago

i wanna try shading better i guess. i noticed on a lot of drawings i like they have 4 values - midtone, dark shadow, light shadow, and highlights. also maybe that weird saturated band in between highlight and whatevers next to it. i wanna do artfight but i feel so bad for the people i wasnt able to revenge last year. i got so many awesome arts and now i feel guilty...

anyways. i want to live my life authentically. what does that mean though...? if your identity is constantly in a state of becoming, ie always being shaped by your lived experiences, how can you live according to that? because what you believe today might not be the same as tomorrow...
ive been trying to accept myself for who i am, and look at the good and the bad (behaviors, thought processes, beliefs) and accept it. but should i just accept myself as i am now...? or should i make an effort to change? what does it even mean to be me? acceptance of myself now is scary. if im fine with who i am now, doesnt that mean id be fine with myself never changing? like if i had to live my life over again would i change anything? (why am i searching for better? isnt my life right now pretty great? how selfish you are to think you deserve better) it feels bad. because if i stop searching, its almost as if i gave up hope that a better world is possible.

all i want to do is to live a happy life. i want to figure out what is rewarding to me and what will motivate me in the future. if i found out i had to live this live over and over again for the rest of time, i want it to be one where id be happy to jump right back in. i feel like im going nowhere. i need to embrace the world with open arms.

i dont think i should have ever tricked myself into believing i was anywhere decent at art

just some sketches. im trying to get back into things but all i do is play videogames :P

cirrus @phenomenal-evil.bsky.social · 2mo ago

thanks bluesky #tadcspoilers

cirrus @phenomenal-evil.bsky.social · 3mo ago

.-.- - . -... .-.- .-.. ..-- -... .-.. ..-- .-.- - . -... .-.- .-.. ..-- -... .-.. ..-- .-.- - . -... .-.- .-.. ..-- -... .-.. ..--

cirrus @phenomenal-evil.bsky.social · 3mo ago

I forgor

cirrus @phenomenal-evil.bsky.social · 4mo ago

i dont even know what im looking for

cirrus @phenomenal-evil.bsky.social · 5mo ago

I think I had a good idea but it's hard to express it all without it being a comic. I guess this is why people have those super cool abstract pieces!! (I'm thinking like... hooly or that one tadc artist on tumblr like bugsoup or something) Then again not everyone has to get everything

cirrus @phenomenal-evil.bsky.social · 5mo ago

yippeeee this is what i wanted to draw for a while oh also here's just the background if u care

why do i always want to create more when im sad? isnt this what i wanted? to be able to experience more feelings to put into art? i should be happy im sad. heeheehee
OH btw dont feel concerned or anything im all good now. just wish i spent more time drawing. when i was pretty sad i think i found the specific feeling i wanted to convey at least with cirrus! so i was just itching to draw this. i think it came out ok (it looks better from far away jdkfsjfksjdf)

salad@saiad.bsky.social · 5mo ago

have you ever actually been true to yourself? #ocsky #art

Underneath it all, was there really anything there?
Those ties you so desperately wanted to connect yourself with others never really existed, did they?
You never learned how to care. You just found out what words make people think you do.

ID: a painting of a few clouds on a bright blue sky with the sun shining from the right. my oc cirrus is drawn over in white, with wind blowing to the left. their eyes and crystal are lit up while the rest of them is see through. it looks like they're looking at the camera. where their head cloud would be is instead over the clouds on the background.

cirrus @phenomenal-evil.bsky.social · 6mo ago

i remembered this like last week and i wanna draw something sooo bad but kidney block is killing me and beating me with hammers (its been two days)

🌶️ Motte! 🌶️🔞@extra-spicymotte.bsky.social · 6mo ago

reminding myself of this

cirrus @phenomenal-evil.bsky.social · 6mo ago

in my drawing era (doesnt draw)

cirrus @phenomenal-evil.bsky.social · 7mo ago

oc x my fav except my ocs are an extension of myself so its basically yumeshipping for valentines day

ah.... sometimes i am jealous, sometimes i am so so sad, and sometimes i am lonely. honestly... im fine with that. what really inspired me so much about other people's art and what drew me to drawing (hehe) in the first place was art that made me feel like i was in another world. art that pulled me into such a sweet universe and made their dreams real. how wonderful is that! i spend so much time trying to figure out how to "conquer" myself and my emotions so i dont feel bad so much (or at least how to listen to them). Now that i have a better handle on them... i dont feel as sad or lonely anymore! which is awesome! ... but then again i dont feel that much motivation to do art... or study... because if i am content where i am and where i stand, why should i change anything? im already as happy as can be! but that kinda sucks hahaha. maybe its better when i felt horrible because i had a reason to make things, to better myself. at least in small amounts. i think back and feeling apathy and hopelessness was the worst (probably around end of hs and end of college) and i dont want that again. do i have to feel bad to make good art? i was raised to tie affection to good grades, and now that ive broken that down a bit, i dont study as hard.... maybe its ok to have a bit of a screw loose to get me where i want to go (um actually the healthy thing to do would be to find your own internal motivation to do these things and to be successful in life but thats hard.ok thats hard. im working on it)

for now lets keep on walking forwards to become the person i aspire to be. keep things honest, keep listening to yourself! my emotions tell me what i want to know, and ill try my best to appreciate each one ^_^ happy valentines day eheh

cirrus @phenomenal-evil.bsky.social · 7mo ago

anything is possible, i just have to reach out to take it. life would be awesome if i could just sit by and watch it play out, and have everything go in my favor. ive grown up set down a specific track by my parents and i really never grew out of that. so i just wait for someone to take their role and tell me what to do, who to be. in the end thats not really a healthy way to see life, because i just get disappointed. and so ive been trying to take things into my own hands more frequently. at some point social media became more about oh... will oomf like this... and stuff like that. but i realized it really doesnt matter. sometimes you just overestimate your importance in other people's lives (and vice versa). i think ill spend my time on what i really like. somewhere down the line, my art became something to maybe get other people to like me rather than for my own enjoyment and because of that i think its lost some of its spark (when i actually drew stuff LOL). while its fun drawing stuff for other people, i do think my favorite pieces that ive done, what i drew came from me! i think thats why i like these sketches a lot. im getting off topic. anyways i realize i just dont have a lot of self confidence because im always afraid of not "living up to my potential" that i dont even try, or im scared of fully committing. but i realize i should just go and do it and accept myself even if im shit like. if i do it and realize im bad i can always try to improve. but if i dont ever try because i "might" be good i wont ever get better. thats why i became salad in the first place... it was someone i could be who was nobody, nothing, a random. but once i actually got friends and people i cared about, i started getting afraid again. was i really trying to connect with others or just asking others to save me?

anyways ive been singing karaoke in my room to myself its pretty fun. i wish i had more time to draw. school is hard ._.

salad @saiad.bsky.social · 7mo ago

continuing this week!

7:30 i brush my teeth
7:35 i make pancakes and spill it all over the floor are you kidding me
i made some more after :(

cirrus @phenomenal-evil.bsky.social · 7mo ago

i forgot how to draw

i dont know who i want to be. i dont even know what i like anymore

salad @saiad.bsky.social · 7mo ago

good morning #hcd #hourlycomicday

this is going to be my hourly comic day thread feel free to mute it
12:00 im sleeping on my bed and drooling. having a great time. im a salad bowl
5:00 i wake up thinking, its hourly comic day
6:00 im back sound asleep, in a different position
7:00 sunlight streams through the window, running a line across myself, waking me up and disorienting me

cirrus @phenomenal-evil.bsky.social · 7mo ago

i think i might just keep this account for pencil stuff and post all my digital stuff to main even if theyre unfinished. idk why im so afraid of posting my sketches on the other account. i just want people to see my best self but if i end up not posting anything, people wont see anything at all!

cirrus @phenomenal-evil.bsky.social · 7mo ago

i heart love bullet also the new teemo skin made me think of it

what makes you, you? how did you get there?
what kind of a person do you want to be?
i lowkey forgot how teemos general body shape was so thats why hes in the top left lmao especially cuz anime bodies are like.... much longer

cirrus @phenomenal-evil.bsky.social · 8mo ago

im just having fun forever and ever ok?

cirrus @phenomenal-evil.bsky.social · 8mo ago

go girl give us nothing (by girl i am referring to myself.) i planned on drawing a lot more but then i simply didnt even when i promised people id draw for them. oh well. trying to get back into it now.

i dont know why i keep expecting people to act differently and then like get unhappy when they dont act like how i want them to. if anything its just me making myself unhappy. oh well! its always not enough time to do everything i want. its not like they didnt give me signs of it anyways.
/shrug

I LOVE HORNET!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

SungWon Cho @prozdishere.bsky.social · 8mo ago

twitter: new update, every time you post, elon musk is literally going to break into your house and shit directly into your mouth users: that sucks but….i mean i HAVE to stay on there…..