Ok I’m caught up with the Sewing Bee so you can talk about it now
You know if you post screenshots of private messages it just makes me think I should never ever message you
Does everyone have the ingredients for the traditional solar eclipse trifle ready for next Wednesday?
Out in town I just spotted the woman from a job 15 years ago who reported me for bullying. Quick swerve into Wilko to avoid.
The work experience boy turned up at the office and left his phone playing some terrible music out loud on his desk 🧐
At least with all these lock screens I can work out roughly where in the world you are (Portugal is an issue)
Someone outside the office is playing awful music really loudly from their car. It’s never anything decent is it. No Dolly Parton, no Kiki Dee
Some PSYCHOPATH has used up the blackcurrant and apple squash at work and replaced it with plain blackcurrant. INSANE behaviour
I just freaked someone out by eating my kiwi fruit with the skin on
I thought I’d see how long it would take to get to the Taskmaster filming location for “get three balls on the yoga mat at the top of that hill” but I think the last bit would make me dizzy
I’ve had no interactions with Lambeth Council but I still want mildly irritating things to happen to them 🤷♂️
Just nipped round to the parents to do an auto channel scan on the Freeview box and remove GB News
Yeah I’m not going to say ssshhhkoda when it’s clearly “skoda”
I just walked past a 8/10 guy and he turned to the woman he was with and said “seriously, I’m about to piss my dick off”
Driver A/C vents in cars should have an armpit tracking mode
This is what I've been doing for the past 3 hours (writing Bicep files that I can't afford to deploy to Azure)
Casino Royale is on ITV and it's somehow both "One of the new ones" and also 20 years old
Furious the hot actor playing a corpse isn’t listed on the IMDb page for this Diagnosis Murder film
Just washed my car with a bucket, sponge and blender jug of water like a compliant big-dicked citizen