just had the worst bout of insomnia ever this just feels like a problem I cannot solve fucking hell I had been doing so good and now this I wouldn't wish this on my own worst enemy

i made this alt acct in part to sometimes share nsfw thoughts, & then I was too scared to post any lol every time I go to write one out there's always that fear of 'is this too much for others to read??" but then I remember it says nsfw in my profile lol

confession: I never liked my manager J at my old job. I hated her. For the 3 years I worked there I never liked her, found her abrasive & dismissive. I faked being polite because it was my job. Near the very end I stopped faking as much in meetings. Don't know if that ever came through. Oh well

if there is an upside to having had a shitty high school experience, it's that that period of my life has no hold over me. So many folks peak in HS & then spend years obsessed w/ this one part of their past For folks who were different like me, that part of my life is just a memory & nothing more

I normally keep my occult/spirit-stuff private, but I study astrology & meditation. I come from a psychic family, & have MANY unique stories related to that. I don't often mention this in group settings because some people are real assholes about anything paranormal/psychic; others get freaked out

what Youtuber is nails on a chalkboard for you? For me, it's Arlo, the puppet that reviews Nintendo games. There is something about that guy that just inherently sets me off; I think it's a combination of how he puts Nintendo on a pedestal & also his voice annoys me.

no one will care about this post lol, but as an X-Men fan who loved the comics growing up, I really hate that they made Hank McCoy (aka Beast) into a full supervillain. Beast was one of the best characters, a true hero. I just think it's depressing & not particularly fun to see him be evil

i've been drawing more erotica/pinups, & I feel weird about it because I don't mean to expose people to that who might not want to see it, but at the same time my sexuality impacts my art, & if I want to draw women w/ huge blocky asses, is that really so bad?

if you give a mouse gal a cookie..🍪🐭

if you give a mouse gal a cookie..🍪🐭

sometimes I see posts on reddit where women will ask 'Why do men get so bent up when they are rejected romantically?" & a common answer is misogny. Sadly, in some cases yeah it is totally misogyny. --BUT--- it's not ALWAYs misogyny, & the answer is more nuanced I feel

I love you, full-odds shiny Spinda I found via horde in Pokemon Y

a super annoying aspect of my creativity is that I kind of can't make art if I'm just not fuckin' feeling it. Like my art only happens if I genuinely want to see it, have an idea that I want to explore, or am curious 'what would that look like'. It's all or nothing w/ me, & I can't change that..

be me, make an alt acct where you can post things that are spicy & nsfw, then be too nervous to post those things

dreaming about a cute black-haired chubby alt lady I can feed treats to surely my future gf who never turns down a second piece of cake exists out there somewhere I will find my plump princess one day

is there a feeling worse than wanting to make artwork but being too tired to do it? because I'm there lol

was considering deleting this account because lately I've been using it to vent my frustrations & its become like a kryptonite for me where I vent SO much that I end up feeling *worse* but I've decided to keep it after all.. I just need a step back from my sorrows.. I'm just goin through some stuff

the fun thing about having an oc is you can draw them in outfits that you see on Instagram that you like, and NO one will stop you (fionna the duck wearing this spicy leotard I saw on a plus-size clothing store acct. on Instagram)

sometimes as a man, it's really easy to feel like ultimately no one innately wants you around & you only matter for what you can provide when you're a man, no one will come to save you, no one inherently gives a shit about you. it's awful to feel disposable & unwanted intrinsically

the fun thing about having an oc is you can draw them in outfits that you see on Instagram that you like, and NO one will stop you (fionna the duck wearing this spicy leotard I saw on a plus-size clothing store acct. on Instagram)

there's this omega popular artist on Instagram who draws OCs at various stages of life, and whenever that artist draws their OCs as in their early 40s, they are drawn to look like they're in their --60s--, & it drives me crazy Yes, people DO start to age in their 40s but 43 is NOT the same as 65

I'm sorry if this account is a huge bummer to follow lately I've had a really awful summer, one of the worst in years I'm not convinced life can get better for me & at this point I'm just going to die alone. Maybe in the next life I can find love feel free to block mute or unfollow me if you want

I love being an artist, & I don't make art to impress other people. I make my art for --myself--, not to get likes online or impress the opposite gender. It is my self expression 1/4

my toxic trait is that when I'm tired, upset, and in a bad mood, I just CANNOT fake being social, playful, & friendly in a social situation I'm not a mean guy but when I'm in that negative zone, I just can't for the life of me codeswitch into a playful, easygoing, non-pissed-off version of myself

still thinking about that woman's post online where she said "Every good thing I pray that God gives me, God instead gives to Dua Lipa 3 times" lol

still pissed how at my old job how I would suggest amazing plush ideas constantly & my manager would be like "these are cute drawings but it's a plush, the MOQ is too high, we can't do it, let's just make it an enamel pin instead" after awhile it felt like okay then why the fuck am I even here?

imagining the pear-shaped deer gal of my dreams into my reality🦌🖤🤔 💭

mom triggered me really badly. She shared a pic of my former abuser in the family group chat, under the guise of "Wow, so-and-so has aged terribly, hatred will do that for you" & like FUCK, I'm so upset. Even LOOKING at that demon makes me want to vomit. I wish she didn't send that pic.

imagining the pear-shaped deer gal of my dreams into my reality🦌🖤🤔 💭

i'm not broken. I'm sad & I'm tired & I've been through a mountain of darkness & pain, but I'm not broken. I'm still me & I'm still here, & I am not going to give up. I know it feels far away right now but 1 day I'll be where I want to be. I refuse to give up hope. I refuse..