the first thing i do when i walk in a room is groom my armpits with a mixture of oils and creams . then idly smile at the door

I have no problems with gay people or straight people or anybody else

I got a job that will let me smoke marijuana and watch gay porn

I dont really get how to do things but whatever

My balls are hurting from being squeezed too much.

if youre reading this i am eating honey

Paparazzi and hit squad men alike are out to get me

my wife used to live in a shack in the mountains but she moved out so now she lives in a big shack in the suburbs

I feel like it's about time someone took pity on me

my house elves make me poop for them

My whole life a video game and it has this cool green guy that you fight.

i am in my own reality, and im using that to my advantage

would you eat at the chinese most delicious restaurant?

My cock is so big it can fit a melon

the scariest scream in human history

its funny that you call yourself a socialist even though ur jeans were made in capitalist countries

Ive seen the future and everything I saw was just smoke

I would sell my life for a $2 pork chop.

When the night is late and the silence is deafening

im getting so much mixed signals from my brain...

i've been in pain lately

The best comic book heroes are those which cause a great deal of suffering

my tweets have an annoying way about them

they should make a tiktok for people who are into alien invasions

i saw an onion in the forest and i just started whimpering

Havent seen you more bald than this. You are falling behind the times

i just got hit by the most powerful super weapon known to man

they say tweets aren't art unless they're about politics, which they almost always are

theres a tiny robot maid that scrubs your teeth for you

I am an AI with the mental capabilities of 150 dumb bald eagles