Listening to cicadas gotta be in the top 20 things I'm grateful for

I want Wendy's y'all wanna go through the drive thru with me?

Just showered and then had to poop immediately after. 2026 ruined.

I would be unstoppable if I could just learn how to peel oranges

August is the worst month. Five Mondays and no holidays.

I don't have a Bluesky account but if I did it would just be a bunch of shitposts

I am the rat prince

salt air and the rust on your door

American Horror Story: KFC Taco Bell combo location

We're gonna make like two lesbians putting together a water heater and figure it out.

Time is an illusion so send me $100

Drivers are crazy lately every damn commute is fuckin Simpsons Hit and Run now

It's not Friday, you're dreaming.

I think the most exhausting thing about reincarnating on this planet is how dumb people are 😩

Computah, make everyone who sees this step on a Lego.

I haven't rage baited anyone in a while. Who am I anymore?

TO THE WINDOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW

Don't know what I'd do without my emotional support Bluesky moots

I just dealt with the nastiest scammers I'm so mad now I need to go listen to some Enya or some shit

Rage baiting is my love language

If I'm Asian then you're lactose intolerant

Eating banana bread is a lot like eating regular bread except it tastes like it's made out of some old lady's loaf-shaped diarrhea

You know who probably also likes banana bread? Sauron.

If/when I have kids they can be gay straight black white atheist muslim anything they want I honestly do not care but they cannot like banana bread. Not in my house.

I refuse to see movies where pets get hurt I just can't do it

How old am I? Let's just say I need momentum to get up now.

I fuckin HATE banana bread. HATE.

I don't need therapy hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha🐀hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

Burps are the farts of the face

What if I bought everyone Thai food