There are two types of polyamorous people when it comes to disclosure boundaries: those who do better with more information about what their partner(s) are doing with other people, and those who do better with less. Here's how you figure out which type you are:

If your partner is struggling with your polyamory, which response do you think they’d respond better to? 1. “You agreed to it, so why are you still upset about it? Maybe you aren’t really polyamorous if you’re going to be so difficult.”

If you’re struggling in your polyamorous relationship and all your partner has to say to you is “maybe you aren’t actually polyamorous” instead of being empathetic and curious, what they’re actually saying is “your emotions are inconvenient to me, so I’m going to shame you about it.”

Polyamorous people who take an overly dogmatic, holier-than-thou proselytising approach when talking about what polyamory 'should' look like are not only reinforcing feelings of shame and judgment in people who are just looking for support, but are also buying into purity culture.

Polyamorous people who aren't aware of their couple privilege can do a lot of harm, but on the flip side, those who rush to escalate newer relationships before they're ready in the name of "fairness" are also mishandling their couple privilege. Here's how to avoid this pitfall...

polyamorous people love talking about how polyamory offers so much novelty and variety in the partners we date but in reality 90% of us just date multiple versions of the same person in slightly different fonts and I love that for us

The polyamorous community love to say "love is infinite but time/energy are not", but at the same time, how one spends their time/energy is a way to demonstrate that love for their partners.

Moving from scarcity to abundance mindset in non-monogamy can be extremely useful for reframing core beliefs that are shaped by mononormativity AND it's also important to remember that you can't gratitude journal your way into dropping your standards and expectations for a relationship.

Polyamory doesn’t mean I feel I SHOULD pursue every opportunity for connection that comes my way. It’s the freedom of choice in knowing that I COULD if I wanted to 💛

A lot of polyamorous people will NOT like what I have to say about this, but…your partner is unfortunately allowed to make the choice to be in shitty, toxic, and even abusive relationships.

when I meet a polyamorous person who clearly communicates their expectations, respects my boundaries, and knows how to manage their time and energy

'Freedom' in polyamory doesn't mean 'doing whatever you want without consequences'. We are 'free' in the sense that we have AGENCY and CHOICE to customise our relationships according to what feels good to the people involved.

If you’re trying polyamory specifically because you want to “trade up” and find a better monogamous partner while keeping your existing partner around as a safety net in case you fail so you never have to be alone...that's not polyamory, that's called monkey branching.

polyamorous person: I’m really struggling in my relationship! society: hm well it’s your fault cuz polyamory never works, maybe just be normal polyamorous person: I’m really happy in my relationship! society: impossible. you must be lying. or being manipulated. you need help

polyamorous folks, what is the name of your polycule group chat and why is it “polycool”, “polycute”, or “polycult”

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We live in a ragebait economy where most people are more interested in mess, drama, and confirming their existing biases than learning about healthy polyamorous relationships.

to every polyamorous man who says “I only let my bi girlfriend/wife date women because I know she’ll never leave me for a woman” - karma is about to come at you real fast

There are three types of polyamorous people: those who send personalised messages to each of their partners, those who send the same message to all their partners, and those who just text the group chat.

If you are polyamorous and you don’t disclose that in your dating profile (esp on mainstream apps), sure, you’ll probably get more matches and a small ego boost…until you realise the majority of them are monogamous people who aren’t looking for the same thing, and will likely be upset with you.

What do Lily Allen and Lindy West have in common? They're both women who have recently published works that led to the entire internet dunking on the polyamorous community. *sarcastically* YAY! My thoughts as a non-monogamist of 10 years and a polyamory educator of 5...

If someone isn't treating you the way you feel you deserve in your polyamorous relationship despite multiple a) reminders of your needs, b) conversations about boundaries, and c) requests for change, you have put in your fair share of effort already, and they are simply not the person for you.

Relationship orientation exists on a spectrum, so that means someone out there is the Most Polyamorous Person On Earth. It's you 🎉

Hudson Williams being a bisexual polyamorous king according to this Twitter AI summary is sending me 🤣

When I say I don't recommend opening your relationship unless you are genuinely prepared for the relationship to change and potentially to end, this isn't because I think polyamory is bad or doomed to fail. It's because any change involves uncertainty and risk.

I don’t mind couples seeking threesomes on dating apps as long as they are upfront about it. But if you use the woman as bait and sneak the man in the last photo, not only is that predatory creep behaviour, it also tells me you don’t like your partner enough to show them off.

Something we don't talk enough about in polyamory is how there is this subtle pressure not to "rain on your partner's parade" - and that can lead some people to not be fully honest about how they are feeling, even when they REALLY need to be.

In polyamory, with freedom comes responsibility. If you want to connect with multiple people, you also have to be prepared to support multiple people with their emotions, including the difficult ones. Unfortunately, here's where I see this typically go wrong...

Two things can be true at the same time: your partner deserves to be happy about their connections with other people, AND your tender feelings also deserve support and consideration.

Here are the signs that show you may 🚩 lack emotional awareness 🚩 in non-monogamy - and how to fix it 🧵