I injected, despite... 😢

I've been wrapped up in doing all sorts of maintenance, for myself and others close to me. I'm emotionally spent, and frayed at the edges, But today, I still picked up my stylus for the first time in a while, and made a couple of personal pieces with rather involved linework and posing.

Tonight's stream went really well, and I'm proud of all of what I got done, even afterwards. So much hard work, and it was good to see it pay off the way that it did. 💝

I did it. Just shy of two small "nice to have"s for the reveal tomorrow, I'm done and ready. I set a lofty goal, dialed it back to a realistic "done enough," worked hard towards achieving it, pushed through frustration and loneliness while keeping it under wraps, And now I'm set for the show. 💝

I worked For 10 hours today At one major point, I was laughing with glee over how much fun I was having making shit that I was worried about how it'd turn out. 💝 And at another, I was giving intense emotional support to someone near and dear to me. And then I kept on going for another 6 hours. 💝

I FINISHED A MAJOR PART OF THE PROJECT TODAY!!! 😄❣️

Oh my god that last clicker hit /hard/ 😵‍💫💦 arrhff..

I pulled through against some terminal levels of distractedness and anxiety this evening, and got more good work in. 💝 Didn't get as much done as I would have liked to, with a potential soft deadline coming up fast; but I got an important, daunting step done and I'm really pleased with what I did.

I just got over a BIG design hurdle that has a lot riding on it, so I was really worried about how it'd turn out. 💝 I know that I've been saying "did thing on project" repeatedly for a while now, but I'm gearing up for a pretty big reveal. I'm getting so excited as each new piece comes together. 😁✨

I've literally been stimming while working on this project, seeing the parts come together is SO EXCITING! 🤩

My Fluxfur community is already at 68 members since yesterday and it's honestly been so healing for me. I've been regulating really really well through several upsetting things today; four triggers that could've completely upended my mood and counting - but I'm here typing this out instead. 💝

More progress on the big project yesterday. This was after sleeping at 5AM, commiserating the loss of my discord server, waking at noon, and facing down two of the major components. I tackled setting up and quickly learning how to use two new tools for the job, and got a good start with one.

Got a chunk of progress squared away on a big project that's been pending for years. There's still plenty more to be done and I'm getting rather impatient, but seeing it start to take shape is extremely exciting. 💝

I got a chunk of progress done on a sizeable project, Mustered the courage to go out swimming in public, And to dress appropriately for the occasion, Actually swam, Had a wonderful time and bonded with friends, Came home and did even more of it with friends online. I'm feeling good about myself. 💝

Prepared for a rather big, bad thing potentially happening ahead of time, and now that it's happened, I'm feeling okay. Also hung out with a friend last night, and talking to them opened up a boatload of feelings I hadn't expected to. It was extremely cathartic and healing. Now, work. 💝

Regulated through my whole week while struggling to make things again. I'm butting up against the start of several massive projects, so the friction has been astronomical. I even stopped using this account after the trouble to set it up. I feel optimistic, but still nursing a bad case of burnout.

Medication spiked my anxiety terribly, but I regulated as best I could. I asserted and stood up for myself several times throughout the day, while being as patient with and kind to myself as I can. And then I made a three-page vent comic at the end of a very stressful time, as a form of therapy.

Pushed through a bad mental health day to work on something small for myself, and reach out to friends for company and support. I made plans to meet up with a couple other friends who I've not seen in many months, to help make up for the lost connection.

Took my HRT shot.

Plucked up the courage to ask a local friend if he was okay, only to have my fears confirmed because I hurt him with my neglect, and he doesn't want to talk to me. I've been regulating well despite the upset; even managing to run an important errand, do a little self care, and prepare a reply.

I regulated through a lot of frustrating and upsetting problems caused by my own clumsiness and carelessness, and was still kind and patient and got a few - albeit small - things done today.

Hi! I'm a good girl and I work hard every day to create art for and be good to people. This account is for me - I log the things I do so that people can praise and encourage me for it in the replies. I'll remove idle followers infrequently. If you don't like seeing this in your feed, block me. 💝

Ruby Chocolate Kitsune ✨@the.choco.one · last mo.

I'm an extremely needy child, deep down (yes, I know 💦). Working on long-term projects and regulating through crises, even small, drains me quick without getting any sort of acknowledgement or praise. I need more than I can expect from any one person, so I'm doing something about it. More soon. 💝