@primecub.bsky.social

Didn't recognise myself at first... In jeans I've not been able to get in for years. . and with rare feeling good moments it's nice to recognise them now

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The thing with treatment resistant depression is living with the fact that I'm pretty stuck.. I have been fighting for 20 years with the slightest of hopes that I'll get better. Now, like the physical dreams, the mental ones are in tatters. The lows are hitting hard.

Seeing no point in existence right now. The lows are lower, I think I hit the bottom, and then it gets darker. Why bother trying, my body and brain hold me back from desire and dreams. Why does it always come back to staring at the reaper at the end of my bed.

Tonight's wonderful interactions on "apps" "Guys like you ruin rubber for men like me" "You're far too fat to fuck" Wonderful profiles that have rubber and bear in the interest tags.. well that's me told.

When the only thing in your head goes round and round telling you how useless you are... Will these days ever get easier? Cold, pain, low moods.. why keep going.

My new addition... Ten days on and I love it more. The piercer said my response was unique and not one he'd had before.. Apparently maniacal belly laughing when someone shoves a needle through your dick isn't the norm.....

I don't wear gear much lately. But this combo works well. There's part of me that misses it, and another part that is geared out after years of no play in it.

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