Haunted or not, in this economy a free house is a free house

michael lutz@ztul.bsky.social · 4w ago

Is there a Mrs Dr Oetker?

They keep flattening the gay people to put them in my phone someone’s got to stop them

You know what sometimes is is too late

Need a delicious cigarette rn

Just found out they’re making us all do our jobs tomorrow

I never gave you permission to read this 🤨

[Carly Simon voice] You’re so vain, you probably think this group chat’s about you

Falling asleep in a flower with a face full of nectar gotta feel great as fuck if you’re a big fat bee

Don’t hear much about people’s Christian Minecraft servers much these days

🚩 Marked safe from group chats

Don’t look now but the guy who lives in your walls got a fresh new haircut

You gonna eat that?

Why not, why shouldn’t I have a delicious caffeinated beverage after midnight?

proton@protoninspector.bsky.social · 2mo ago

They should invent a Diet Coke that makes you sleepy

They should invent a Diet Coke that makes you sleepy

Is that smudge on my glasses or on my eye?

Computah show me the good bugs

That’s good news because that’s all my posts 😎

mammon@derekhill.bsky.social · 2mo ago

DMing you "hey bro just wanted to let you know your filler posts (the shit you post when you clearly have nothing funny or of value to say) are really imporving"

It’s time for a Bond who doesn’t fuck

They should make hot dogs even more phallic. Give em balls or something

They’ve automated the dick sucking factory now I’m feelin just like another hog in the machine

What can we really say other than things may, or perchance may not, be happening?

Crashing out in their dms >>>>>

I don’t have time for this right now

Merriam-Webster@merriam-webster.com · 5mo ago

‘Hey’ came before ‘hi,’ and ‘hi' came before ‘hello.’ ‘Hi’ is most likely a variant of ‘hey.’ ‘Hello’ is not related to either. Goodbye.

Walking away from Omelas like

I understand why they publish them by household but as a single person living alone this always hurts to see

"Online Rent-a-Sage" Bret Devereaux@bretdevereaux.bsky.social · 5mo ago

For 2024, the *household* income quintiles were Top: 175k+ 2nd: 105-175k 3rd: 65k-105k 4th: 34.5k-65k Lowest: 0-34.5k Obviously somewhat subjective to living area, but most upper-income folks have very little sense of where they sit.

A phone without a case feels more premium, but it’s not without risk!

Leto II and his Ixian devices:

lauren@lauren.rotatingsandwiches.com · 5mo ago

every time i repost a joke about butlerian jihad i turn to my ipad and whisper "not you baby. youre different"

You can disable quotes on here???

This was good, fuck you

proton@protoninspector.bsky.social · 5mo ago

Geordie Greep at the aquarium: “Oh, what a magnificent porpoise”