The perfect game doesn't exis—

Finally found a Michael's selling buttons (abysmal selection, btw. I wasn't really in the market when Joann was alive, but I'm pretty sure there was a whole aisle of buttons there. This was like, one bay 🙄) and six (6) buttons cost 7 government, real-life dollars. BEFORE TAX

Got myself a field guide to different sheep breeds' wool and now I feel unstoppable with knowledge. 🐑

Please, when will my yarn return from the Queens NY distribution center 😩

Everyone please cross your fingers for the yarn I ordered from Denmark. It's been stuck in Queens throughout the nor'easter and at least parts of Queens are currently kayakable 😬

Getting live-react family drama texts from my father of all people 🤣

Here's a crazy chicken/egg scenario I discovered this morning: 'Textile' and 'text' share a Latin root word. And while surely we had textiles before we had text as a culture, the first known use of 'text' is ~50 years before the first known use of 'textile'.

A whole Fall Out Boy segment on MBMBAM this week just for meeeee? Perpetually delighted to be reminded they're Travis's favorite band too 💖

‼️New intro song on Justin McElroy's hit stream series Currywurst ‼️

Would love to know how I'm supposed to sleep when it sounds like a boat engine is idling in front of my — oh, it stopped. Hopefully for good; it's been going on and off for hours. Add to that two days in a row of helicopter-aided maintenance on the nearby train tracks and I'm at my wit's end🫠

BBC show: *films on a rocky beach* Me: Wait is that Bad Wolf Bay?

Damn dude I need whatever Cheem put into the last 50 seconds of Nano to be bottled and sold. It'll put energy drinks out of business. I usually don't like when bands extend a song to talk over in the middle of a show, but I could do with a few extra minutes of that beat 💖

People always have something to say about women when it comes to upspeak, but have these people ever listened to men play video games? Everything is a question. "On me? On me?"

Would anyone be shocked if I told you I could not find one singular button at Michael's the other day? It's been over a year since the death of my wife Joann Fabrics and Michael's doesn't have one fucking button in their physical, in-store inventory?? 😭

On the bright side, I'm positive this book wasn't written with AI. On the other hand, this author's grammar is terrible and their understanding of what qualifies as a pun is dubious. ⚖️

Y'all, the local cider mill had their soft-open today and getting through town was once again less of a bitch than normal. Nature is healing, summer is ending, and life is beautiful 🍂

I'm really just pissed with commercials as a whole. And that's coming from someone who's interested in the psychology of marketing tactics and demographics. But at this point I hate the shtick. I have more respect for creators doing bland ad reads. Just tell me the information and get out.

Wouldn't you think AI would be able to apply the prescriptive rules of English correctly? Like I'm not a prescriptivist by any means, but the comma in "You can call me, ChatGPT" pisses me offffff. There are set rules for that kind of thing; why can't the machine learning machine learn that?

I wonder how many tweaks that stupid Liberty Mutual puppet had to go through only to wind up incapable by nature of imitating a bilabial plosive, which is the whole reason for its existence.

Got through my little tourist town with no issues at 5pm on a Wednesday?? Could this finally be it? The end of summer tourism? 🥹

Dolly Parton AND Tim Curry in two days? I may actually cry about this.

Getting good at long draw off a supported spindle genuinely feels like suddenly doing magic because what do you mean I just pull and the floof in my hand transforms into more and more thread before my very eyes??

Okay, back to back sapphic books at work and both have a cat named Elijah in them. Not many nickels, but weird that it happened twice, etc.

Whoops, I just happened to be in the middle of a TAZ: Balance relisten when Liberty Mutual introduced that fuckass disembodied head mascot so now my headcanon (no pun intended) of Cam is fucking Liberty biberty

We're so close to cider season; I can almost taste it 🍂🍎

It's so smoky out that my warm-tinted monitors are looking quite blue compared to the ambient light 😶‍🌫️

Severe lightning immediately upon full dark setting in is an awfully portentous kind of fireworks for this 250th Fourth of July. I'm all but waiting for the scary organ music to kick in.

I know it literally /just/ became summer, but something about this overcast, rainy weather and cooler temps has me sooooo hyped that Fall is next 😍🍂

Wish I could text my cat 😓

Man there's nothing like the smell of hot petrichor