little lamb

@puddleofbrain.bsky.social

what an imperfect and erring instrument I was to fail in so crucial a moment

Me: sorry to bother you at home doc but this shampoo you gave me isn’t helping me to masturbate like my usual shampoo does Doctor Jedediah Tugmenot, antimasturbation specialist: not to worry that’s because we mixed sand into it down at the clinic it means the programs working

There’s a draft that’s been in there for six months that just says ‘rivers cuomo Neil degrasse Tyson.’ I think I was starting a list of people who would have been better with heroin problems but there’s really no way of knowing

Cheeto was angre he was in rayj & he kep pulin on the Littl Man the Addoms owt strecht arms. The Littl Man the Addom he begun tu cum a part he cryd, I wan tu go I wan tu stay. Cheeto sed, tel mor. The Addom sed, I wan tu dark, I wan tu lyt, I wan tu day I wan tu nyt. Cheeto sed, tel mor.

I don’t want to jump to any crazy conclusions from Tuesday nights Michigan democratic primary but I think it is very clear that Michiganders hate women and their state is probably shaped like a mitten because it’s the only hand garment that prevents them from flicking their beans