Ash
@puppermoder.bsky.social
One Shlee, Cryptid My gender is Shlee. Pronouns in bio? That would require me to understand what my pronouns are! Per Aspera Ad Astra
I've got a skill issue irl: my skills are just too good for this place thats the issue. *Walks confidently away but trips on my own feet and falls directly into traffic*
I think i have been too normal lately i should become perverted again
You use cbt to fix ur brain. i use cbt to fix my brain. We are not the same.
Im in a mood where i would like to screech in a way that leaves permanent psychological damage on all nearby
Having to walk away halfway through an episode of Foundation and ongomgomgomg its so goood i need to finish it plz no work only tv
The robot makes "cute" sounds at u so u don't hate it. It does not work.
Look I'm not religious but like holy shit thats gotta be like peak blasphemy right?
Sacagawea watching Lewis take a shiny pill and immediately shit himself so hard u can hear it for 5 miles around in a way that will be detectable hundreds of years later and just staring at the latrine hes in like "how the fuck are *these* the fuckers taking over everything?" As Clark also takes one
"Don't be killed" i whisper to u as i hand u an onion and fade into the night
Where are the other integrated survivability vegetables like cmon inwant to see what y'all got for the integrated survivability eggplant
Ok but like I'd feel safer in a tank than an onion checkmate military theorists
Going to create gif versions of common memes and reaction images but the only thing that moves is just like a tiny, barely perceptible, shift of the eyes occasionally or something similarly tiny and hard to spot and then im going to distribute them across the internet randomly.
Going through a bathroom and replacing all the flush handles with slightly longer ones every week to see how long i can get them before anyone notices
Every time i reread the Dark Forest i always forget all the stuff with Luo Ji and his girl despite it giving me one of my favorite lines of the series. But also like damn this is weird ok this is weird dude
Once a week or so the "you are the Usain Bolt of dying" post just pops up unbidden into my head lmao
I am the deity of carpet cleaning! Look upon my works ye mighty and despair! *watches someone spill alcohol directly on the clean carpet.* I have suffered the fate of all great men of history, to be brought low by my own hubris. *Rends my garments apart*
Things that are better than sex: *Cookies *Kink *Staring at an orange *Sex *Getting that one spot out of carpet with the hand tool *Drugs *Rock n roll
They dont tell u that im an eepy entity Perhaps some kind of eepity
Would u still love me if my internal organs liquified into a mysterious substance that will baffle scientists for decades to come?
I love my alien "name" scheme a lot actually The One Who Comprehends/Defines The One Who Directs Spacecraft The One Who Commands The One Who Calms The One Who Translates Etc. There might be a thousand Ones Who Comprehend but it doesn't matter they each fill the role and are thus interchangeable
They actually gave me way too much shlee to shell ratio like theres so much shlee in here thats why i keep spilling it everywhere im overfull