I'm probably going to disappear for a slight bit, not in a huff or anything, but I'm curious to rediscover what life was like before someone turned the opinion tap on. If anyone needs me for anything, I'm incredibly easy to find.

Look, I wrote a semi-autobiographical novel explaining everything. I'm not sure what more I can do for people.

I think most middle-aged people who are now nice are haunted by their nineties selves, who were arseholes.

Diana dying was weird because I thought of her as someone from the eighties. It was like Simon le Bon had died and everyone was ridiculously sad.

Willy Wonka loves making chocolate but hates any kid who eats it. I wonder if that says anything about Dahl's relationship with his readers.

Was thinking I need a Roald Dahl-type writing shed but then remembered everyone would think it was my 'writing' shed.

Please look at this Cezanne with me for one minute. #mindfulness #meditation #innercalm #sweetcorn

Devastated to discover my posse are doing a podcast without me.

Please look at this Cezanne with me for one minute. #mindfulness #meditation #innercalm #sweetcorn

Wales. Very good but insufficient signage in some areas.

At the Caerphilly cheese festival in the pissing rain. Can't find any cheese.

Cold Turkey by John Lennon is the world's only song written for the Boxing Day market.

Lost in a world of broken interactive museum displays.

Got that painting you wanted.

Add this to your dating profile.

Reading Cold Comfort Farm. What gets lost these days is that it's partly a parody of Gone to Earth by Mary Webb, which of course was adapted by Powell and Pressberger.

He's pining for the fjords.

Dead wasp sculpture outside a visitor centre.

Someone left the Clarkson in the rain.

I had no idea Top Gear hasn't been on for four years. What programme have the country's arseholes been watching in the meantime?

Homemade Wicker Man at the Morbitorium, Caerphilly.

Flora from Cold Comfort Farm is autistic as fuck, just sayin'.

Sometimes I wish I never went down the rabbit burrow rabbit hole.

Public sculptures are usually shit. They should put things like Rodin's The Kiss on roundabouts instead because they're better.

I did once have the idea of a podcast that worked its way through every Tim Curry film and TV appearance, just to see where it would take you.

For when you're fresh out of Hughs.

Ok this is just getting silly now.

The Four Tops' follow-up record, 'Goin' Silly Down in Caerphilly' was not a success.

Barry Island pleasure park man shouting through his microphone, 'Are you screaming or crying? Do you want to stay on or get off? It's an easy question.'

Barry Island pleasure park man shouting through his microphone, 'Are you screaming or crying? Do you want to stay on or get off? It's an easy question.'