Redwall Feasts Bot

@redwallfeasts.bsky.social

Delicious descriptions from the kitchens at Redwall Abbey // every four hours // artwork by Christopher Denise // powered by @bluebotsdonequick.com

Don't start talkin' about scoff, you'll have everybeast goin' on about feasts they were at seasons ago. All that ripe fruit an' crumbly cheese an' acorn salad, aye, an' pennycloud cordial. Look, you've got me at it now!

Food was served on the open decks, hogcooks bustling in and out of their huts, carrying pans of thick porridge flavored with cut fruit and honey, the staple diet of Waterhogs. This was accompanied by hot cheese an' onion flans and mugs of crabapple cider.

Hazelnut bread, hot and crusty from the ovens, with honey or apple and blackberry preserves to spread on it. Chestnut flour pancakes, acorn scones, and savory dumplings were passed to and fro among the beakers of raspberry juice and hot mint an' rosehip tea.

Never had she tasted such marvelous things. Alternating between cheesebread, fruit pie with cream, woodland salad, carrot and leek flan, mintcream cakes, and honey-glazed preserved fruits, she held her own with the best trencherbeasts.

I'd like a beaker of bilberry cordial and a big pastie, a beetroot and mushroom one; after that I think I'd go for a piece of hot blackcurrant and plum crumble, with sweet cream and beechnut sauce poured all over it.

The centerpiece was a massive moist sweet seed an' barley cake, decorated with sugared maple leaves and surrounded by trifles of various colors—bright red-current, green gooseberry, pale pink rose, and delicate woodland violet.

Cellar supplies all up an' waitin'. First barrel of last October's ale tapped, tansy an' coltsfoot cordial, willowbark tea, dandelion fizz, oh, and a small firkin of rosehip'n'redcurrant wine, to keep out the chill.

Never had she tasted such marvelous things. Alternating between rye bread, apple cinnamon pie with fresh cream, spring salad, onion flan, plum cakes, and honey-glazed preserved fruits, she held her own with the best trencherbeasts.

Chestnut and mushroom bake, with woodland stew with herbs and onions, oat muffins, and strawberry tart. All was washed down with a variety of drinks. Mulled nettle ale, hot pennycress an' comfrey tea, dandelion an' burdock cordial or elderflower water.

A smidgen of strawberry roly-poly pudding, a pawful of gooseberries, a swig of rosebay willowherb tea, a beaker full of plum'n'apple cider, some of the honeyed hazelnuts, lots of grilled chestnut and yellow cheese dip, and an extra-large helping of cheese and onion turnovers.

The most impressive single offering on the table was a wide diamond of sweet arrowroot shortcake, with all the fruits of the summer piled on it, fixed there by stiff comb honey blended with a puree of apple and raspberry.

A smidgen of summercream pudding, a pawful of cherries, a swig of comfrey tea, a beaker full of sparkling cider, some of the cucumber sandwiches, lots of cheese and celery dip, and an extra-large helping of cheese and celery flan with sage and parsley.

Yes, cheese 'n' nut flan, that's jolly nice. I like woodland salad with apples, whortleberry sponge pudden, hot scones with soft cheese, lashin's o' the stuff! Er, damson cream pie, bilberry tart, seedcake with a wedge of cheese, anythin' like that.