If you can‘t vanish mysteriously for two or three weeks and spark a flurry of health or coup rumors before reappearing in a triumphant propaganda photo spread conducting a provincial agricultural inspection, can you even call yourself a leader? www.nytimes.com/2026/07/08/u...

Kentucky Gov. Andy Beshear Demands Health Update on Mitch McConnell

Senator Mitch McConnell has been hospitalized since June 14. Speculation about his health has spread in recent days.

nytimes.com

NEWS: Candidate for Senator of US province of Maine, Graham Platner, reveals new tattoo.

We wish! We‘ve tried honeypots. Polish sausage. Crates of Malort. Sometimes all at once. Nothing yet. www.cnn.com/2026/07/02/u...

Peter Thiel: The pope is ‘working for the Chinese Communists’ by criticizing AI | CNN

Speaking at the Aspen Ideas Festival, the billionaire tech investor said the Vatican’s concerns could discourage America in the AI arms race, warned of a democratic-socialist takeover and explained wh...

cnn.com

Agree with comrade Trump. US citizens are welcome, but should be good.

Shrimp widely considered third most bourgeois shellfish, after oysters and whelks.

Elite Grifters@elitegrifters.bsky.social · last mo.

Kat Abughazaleh, who claims to be poor, posted yesterday about buying fast-casual shrimp twice in a day.

Renovated reflecting pool in Washington, DC expected to draw admirers from countless nations and territories.

All reflecting pools in Beijing reported to be competently administered and free of unsightly contaminants.

OFFICIAL: Congratulations extended to Islamic Republic of Iran for comprehensive humiliation of imperialist forces.

The New York Times@nytimes.com · 2mo ago

Elon Musk’s net worth of $1.1 trillion is five million times as large as that of the typical family. The median American household had a net worth of just under $200,000 in 2022, the year with the most recent data available from the Federal Reserve. nyti.ms/4aL8sNH

NEWS IN PHOTOS: China’s President Xi Jinping greets foreign dignitary.

Brb. Sending our mistresses to Hong Kong for a week of shopping and draining all the hot tubs in Beijing for “maintenance.”

The Independent@the-independent.com · 3mo ago

Trump brings controversial ‘Rush Hour’ and ‘Melania’ director Brett Ratner to China aboard Air Force One

Plan for Bolivarian States of America welcomed.

Shipwreck@shipwreck75.bsky.social · 3mo ago

Trump on Venezuela:

We don't understand. What good are judges that aren't political actors?

Lawrence Hurley@lawrencehurley.bsky.social · 3mo ago

NEW: Chief Justice John Roberts bemoans that Americans don't understand how the Supreme Court operates and see justices as "political actors". The court at times simply has to make "unpopular" decisions, he adds: www.nbcnews.com/politics/sup...

Oh no! Our sinister plan to undermine America by impairing the judgment of a handful of morose leftist shitposters has been discovered!

Matt Novak@paleofuture.bsky.social · 3mo ago

Fox News compares Bluesky to energy weapons: "China and Russia classify—in the same grouping as pulsing and sonar type weapons that sort of impede the brain—these types of digital platforms and algorithms because they attribute it to a judgment impairment. A softening of your literal brain tissue."

Kash Patel radiating big Wang Lijun vibes. Keep an eye on the embassies, American friends.

The Atlantic@theatlantic.com · 4mo ago

Kash Patel’s colleagues are alarmed by what they say is erratic behavior and excessive drinking, Sarah Fitzpatrick reports. More than two dozen people she spoke with described his management failures and conduct that could harm national security. theatln.tc/SS6krazR

“Military grade venting” is what happens to us when we eat too much Guizhou cuisine.

The New York Times@nytimes.com · 4mo ago

Lauren Sánchez Bezos treats the pursuit of joy as a kind of mandate. But when one of the world’s wealthiest people radiates this much happiness, is it celebration, or provocation? In interviews, she discussed her marriage to Jeff Bezos, the criticism she faces, her work and more. trib.al/3CYGIXT

JD Vance widely considered “most influential” American Vice President.

BREAKING: President Trump unveils "triumphal arch" design for US capital of Washington, DC.

Our compounding pharmacies make effective medications for premature victory. Fax us for a price list. No prescription required!

Glad to hear it! How are the opium prices these days?

Politics UK@politicsuk.com · 4mo ago

🚨 NEW: Keir Starmer says he would never use Donald Trump's rhetoric about wiping out Iran's civilisation "Let me be really clear about this. They are not words I would use - ever use - because I come at this with our British values and principles"

Honestly, this is what we’ve always called it around the office.

Olga Nesterova@onestpress.onestnetwork.com · 4mo ago

Can you imagine how many people approved it before publishing? Shameful.

“Important new job in the private sector” is a euphemism for “remanded to a black prison,” right? Like when we say “invited for tea” but mean “interrogated.”

We’re reluctant to say this about capitalist propaganda organ The Economist, but… Fact check: True.

Why mortgage your own credibility as paramount leader? Send commissar Miller to intimidate the justices. That way, if they rule against you, you have another convenient layer to purge.

Reuters@reuters.com · 4mo ago

With Trump present, Supreme Court hears birthright citizenship arguments reut.rs/4bU5OFi

SPONSOR MESSAGE: Ass kicked by Iran? Laobaigan! Remember: "When the shit hits the fan, there's always Laobaigan!"™

American friends strongly urged to never mention Sun Tzu again.

Carl Quintanilla@carlquintanilla.bsky.social · 4mo ago

“.. The bill, if it becomes law, would: * Impose a toll system in rials * Ban passage of US and Israeli vessels through the strait * Assert Iran’s sovereignty over the strategic waterway” @bloomberg.com www.bloomberg.com/news/live-bl...

The Bored of Peace.