Spider-Man spends two hours protecting people’s identities, and some people can’t protect a plot twist for 24 hours.
♡ Rexton ♡
@rexton.bsky.social
Made an X-it for a Bluesky 🎬 https://www.instagram.com/ontherexbox
A SpaceX rocket is drifting into the Moon and they’re saying, “We’re only now considering what happens when we start living there.” If we were meant to live on the Moon there’d be stairs. Or at least a No. 52 bus. Honestly, it’s not complicated.
9:20am. The Odyssey. Right at the back of the cinema with nobody beside, behind or in front of us. Private screening, really. And it was everything we wanted Matt Damon to be. I’d happily watch that man navigate the Mediterranean for another three hours. 🍿
This reusable bottle culture. Staying hydrated is important, but you don’t need to carry a litre-sized bottle everywhere to be healthy.
It’s Erling Haaland’s birthday tomorrow. The new Haaland meme season is about to kick off.
Mime of the Match wrapped up already. Why sing 1 note when you can sing 10.
A stunning stadium, generously filled with the nation’s finest bastards.
England got the win. Mbappé can have the Golden Boot. Anyone but Messi.
Erling enjoying the memes is the equivalent of feeding a stray cat. They’ll never stop coming now.
Just turned my fan off. RIP to the white noise that’s been masking my existence for the last two months.
“With great horsepower comes great responsibility.” Forget the car in SPA(R), I’d be happy just wearing that helmet to Tesco.
My algorithm has quietly accepted that I’m interested in one thing: Erling Haaland doing literally anything.
The best present from Dextronix. I’ve started expressing myself through home accessories.
Booking our third cinema trip already. Figured The Odyssey deserved the IMAX treatment. If you’re going to watch a 10-year journey over 3 hours, you may as well make the screen the size of Greece.
Anthony Gordon’s been my England man of the tournament. Every substitution has felt less tactical and more like self-sabotage.
England’s most consistent tactic this tournament: play well, then take Anthony Gordon off.
Thomas Tuchel has the perfect amount of barely contained rage for a fixture like this. GIVE ‘EM HELL, TOMMY T
England 2–1 Argentina (after extra time). My head says it’ll be incredibly tense. My heart says England finally get over the line and set up a final against Spain.
Long-haired footballers never looked feminine to me. They just looked like the main character while everyone else was an extra.
I get it, Erling. You bring the taxidermy booze, I’ll bring the taxidermy cigarettes.
A few more theatrical tumbles, some strategic cramp in the 89th minute and France still wouldn’t have won.
Hopefully we’ll be playing France in the final, but I think Argentina will be dirty tomorrow. Call that “dirty” or simply “streetwise” depends on where you’re sitting dunnit.
My prediction for tonight: France 2–1 Spain (possibly after extra time). They’re the sort of team that can win without necessarily being spectacular.
Spent ten minutes on Erling Haaland’s Wikipedia page. Basically an expert now. Mastermind, here I come.
Didn’t expect to come away with a soft spot for Norway, but here we are. The Viking Row, that beautiful kit, and Haaland - the gentlest giant in football.
There’s still 15 minutes to find a winner. Let’s not leave this to fate and a goalkeeper guessing correctly.