Richard Seltzer
@richardseltzer.bsky.social
Author of two dozen books. Writing stories for 70 years. I've been editor, novelist, Russian translator, parttime spy, Internet evangelist, and ebook entrepreneur. http://www.seltzerbooks.com https://www.amazon.com/One-Family-Richard-Seltzer/dp/1959621211
Suggested new nickname for Trump -- The Pool Boy.
Imagine cartoons painted on rocks -- Smile Stones
Decoding my late-at-night my handwritten inspired scribbles to myself, I fill in words one at a time, as I guess them, in no particular order. Each correct guess makes it easier to decipher other words by inference in the new context.
He asked for a 12-year-old Scotch, but, instead, the bartender sold him an 18-year-old from Dublin.
We live in interesting times, when oracles are only databases when words collide and worlds elide, when Ellison isn't an invisible man -- he's MAGAfied.
To prisoners it's important to finish sentences. But those of us who are "free" and were given a life sentence at birth don't want that sentence to end.
Rumpelstiltskin started walking with stilts not to be taller than others, but rather to see the world from a new perspective. At least that's how his publicist spun the story.
BREAKNG FAKE NEWS: Trump's gestapo arrested the scientist because social media professed that his latest discovery was revolutionary.
he promised himself he wouldn't procrastinate about edits to his latest draft. He would do them next tweak.
The word processor didn't like her. She wasn't his type. She couldn't get with the program.
BREAKING FAKE NEWS: Trump, by executive order, reinstates the Ptolemaic world view, with one tweak: instead of orbiting Earth, everything revolves around him.
Time has a reputation as a fast lady. But she's never so much as kissed me, time after time.
A lion reigned as the fastest mammal on Earth until it was revealed he was a cheatah. He had been lyin' all along.
BREAKING FAKE NEWS: New exercise routine promises immortality. Just do it everyday, for a month, 25 hours a day; and live forever.
He was writing a book at the age of 80. He had a firm deadline that didn't depend on the publisher's schedule. He wanted to renegotiate as a multi-book deal, but the owner aas unreachable. She had last been seen during the Burning Bush Festival, near Mount Sinai, a few thousand years ago.
BREAKING FAKE NEWS: Amid rumors that both O'Connell and Trump are brain dead, they drank whiskey together, as 100 proof of life. But Old MacDonald, the nnly witness, admitted, "AI! AI! Oh!
After the scandal of public nudity, the Emperor abdicated his throne. Then he bought new clothes and got a job at Macy's as a Santa Claus.
BREAKING FAKE NEWS: Hegseth hired a spider as Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, because he was good at webonization.
He put a piece of chocolate on her pillow, wishing her sweet dreams.
I just published Review of Voices of the Owned medium.com/p/review-of-...
Review of Voices of the Owned
scheduled for publication in the Sept. 14 issue of Publishers Weekly
medium.com
BREAKING FAKE NEWS: Pope promises to send a million missals to Ukraine.
I can imagine -- someone procrastinating about breaking up with his girlfriend sends her a text saying "I'll ring you soon." And she misunderstanding the "ring."
The full review of Voices of the Owned. It will appear in the Sept. 14 issue of Publishers Weekly. booklife.com/project/voic...
Voices of the Owned: What They Lived Through, Remembering Slavery by Richard Seltzer | BookLife
Gathered from thousands of WPA Slave Narratives, "Voices of the Owned" restores individuality and immediacy to people too often reduced to symbols or silence. Not symbols. Not stereotpe...
booklife.com
Perhaps the Crufiction was an accident. Maybe Jesus just meant to cross his fingers.