Robb Witmer
@robbwitmer.info
You may remember me as the guy who jumps through the wedding cake in the Guns n’ Roses “November Rain” music video • robbwitmer.info
Whenever I get off an elevator I always give it a little kiss on the “8” button, sometimes even whisper “you complete me” if the ride was really good. It’s not weird, it’s called preparing for the future
The Denver Post@denverpost.com · yesterday“I always say ‘please’ and ‘thank you’ to AI. We have to prepare for our potential future. That’s why every time I leave a Waymo, I say ‘thank you’ and give it a little pat.”
happy to report that this film is both historically accurate and faithful to the source material. racially
Lauren McKenzie@themckenziest.gay · last wk.Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaahhaahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahaha
I doubt it, but I wish him luck
Make It Make Sense@themimsshow.bsky.social · last wk.Will this tool end AI slop?
The president escaped from Air Force One inside the van that has the Criterion Closet in the back. He did the thing where he took every single movie "because they can't stop you, nobody says you can't." Except he left the Wes Anderson collection. "Too symmetrical" he said.
On the one hand, we could invest time and effort into listening to our employees and customers, to learn what it will take to improve the shopping experience and save our national retailer from its death spiral. But on the other hand, we could hire a Chief Hamster Wheel Supervisor and call it a day
CNBC@cnbc.com · 2w agoTarget appoints its first chief AI officer as big retailers bet on AI
A lot of people say it’s dead, but in my experience the real American Dream has always been “You’re on your own, and nobody cares if you succeed or fail,” which actually seems to be doing just fine
Senator McConnell is resting comfortably at home and recovering on schedule, but has recently expressed concern about “running out of sausages.”
Robb Witmer@robbwitmer.info · 2mo agoMitch McConnell has been reached for comment and confirmed that he "needs more sausages."
Spoilers for House of Dragons I guess, but it was fun to see Lord Dennis Reynolds get got Gaddafi stylie
the plan is to literally make Ai as Facebooky as possible until somebody else figures out what to do with it. this tech is so unbelievably cooked
The Verge@theverge.com · 2w agoMeta is planning to focus its efforts on “delivering personal superintelligence to billions of people and small businesses.” He says this will have an impact on “some aspects of the way we work,” but waves off concerns that AI will result in fewer jobs overall.
was just going through some old files and found something I wrote in 2004 that uses the term "George W. Cunt," so I guess I really was born with it.
National media currently firing up the “Americans are scared of mobs taking over their cities” headline machine
Elle Ess@viamarsala18.bsky.social · 2w agoI’m sorrrrryyyyyy I’m crying over this 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Incredibly funny that if anyone remembers Lindsay Graham at all it will be as the guy who died during Week One of the Diarrhea Wars
Robb Witmer@robbwitmer.info · last mo.Lindsey Graham died as he lived, in competition with explosive diarrhea for space in the national zeitgeist
We are taking your jobs, driving everyone you know insane, and giving your donuts tumors. We’re the tech industry, and you’re welcome.
Matt Zoller Seitz@mattzollerseitz.bsky.social · 2w agoLocal donut place has succumbed to AI, alas
David Ellison looks like if Powder got the Mar-a-lago face surgery
Aaron Rodgers is lowkey goated when dumb guy who thinks listening to podcasts makes him smart is the vibe
Denny Carter@dennycarter.bsky.social · 3w agoIt’s August 2026 and Aaron Rodgers is having a full blown meltdown about Anthony Fauci.
In my rankings of favorite genres of baseball player, 1-Time All-Star is definitely in the top five
TribLIVE@triblive.bsky.social · 3w agoThe #Pirates have made a move to shore up their bullpen — adding veteran reliever and former All-Star Camilo Doval from the Yankees. In return, the Bucs are sending two prospects to New York.
We are in the Singularity. This is the moment
Robb Witmer@robbwitmer.info · 4w agoWe are in the Singularity. This is the moment
I worked at a place that once got a job application from a guy who wrote "fired for stealing" as the reason he left his last job, and basically the 2024 presidential election was the whole country deciding to hire that guy
Wishing a speedy recovery to Johnny Depp after he suffered major spinal fractures yesterday attempting to dive headfirst into a dumptruck full of out-of-commission Chuck E. Cheese tokens because he doesn't know the difference between Ebenezer Scrooge and Scrooge McDuck
NYT EDITOR: (finds out how much a bathroom remodel costs) What this country needs is more plumbers.
The New York Times@nytimes.com · last mo.As college tuition has climbed, Gen Z is reckoning with the value of a degree. Some young people in skilled trades, like plumbing and construction, said that the common advice that they should go to college instead was hard to square with what they were seeing firsthand. trib.al/4aSyR8u
Looking forward to the country never having to face the consequences of replacing the Department of Education with a poster that says “be a plumber”
Aaron Rupar@atrupar.com · last mo.Linda McMahon says some elementary school students should be put on a "pathway" to become plumbers
I once bought a hit of mescaline from a random guy in the Red Rocks Amphitheater parking lot that lasted for three days. Didn’t know that could happen. Had to go to work like that. It cost $4
I'm genuinely baffled at how everyone keeps on pretending that these teams are in any way associated with "college"
Chicago Sun-Times@chicago.suntimes.com · last mo."They're real," Greg Sankey said Monday of talks with school presidents involving the SEC separating itself from the rest of the NCAA.
