Robby Slowik
@robbyslowik.bsky.social
The man you know and love from other websites just like this one is now on this one. Stand-Up Comic, TV Writer, and Podcast Host. Just like everyone else.
I’m visiting Florida and the public transportation here sucks. I wanna go to the library and the only way to get there is the bang bus.
Anyone in Tampa? I’m headlining side splitters this Saturday at 6 PM! Tickets in the usual place.
He didn’t die doing what he loved but he’ll love what he’s doing when he’s dead.
When I was a kid, I had a T-shirt that said Ball is Life. As an adult, I need one that says finding 0% APR balance transfer credit cards so I can keep my finances from completely collapsing is life.
I keep seeing headlines about "Mamdani Grocery Stores" and let me just fix this for y'all now, Zocery Stores.
Childhood Me: I can't wait to see what wonders the future holds! The Future: www.washingtonpost.com/nation/2026/...
Schools are adding pepper-spraying drones to help combat active shooters
The plastic, nonlethal aircraft, which can smash windows and ram attackers, will be at the ready in a handful of schools in Florida, Georgia and Colorado.
washingtonpost.com
Childhood Me: I can't wait to see what wonders the future holds! The Future: www.washingtonpost.com/nation/2026/...
Schools are adding pepper-spraying drones to help combat active shooters
The plastic, nonlethal aircraft, which can smash windows and ram attackers, will be at the ready in a handful of schools in Florida, Georgia and Colorado.
washingtonpost.com
Only the Italian brain could look at a potato and think, I could make this pasta.
My Takeaway from Lindsay Graham‘s death is if you are gay and live authentically people eulogize you like, “he was a creative force who loved life and brought joy to everyone in it” And if you’re closeted it’s like, “GAAAAAAAYYY, RIP to world’s gayest gay.”
It’s here! The world’s newest, dumbest, niche podcast. It’s the Emily in Paris rewatch podcast for lovers, haters, and first-timers. Available all of the podcast places and my bio.
There is only one honorable thing to do here. Robert Mueller must play in Folarin Balogun's place.
I haven't seen Backrooms yet but is it just the scene from Spinal Tap where they can't get to the stage?
Fascist wins office Dems: We've lost touch with the voters. We've forgotten how to talk to men. We need to have hard conversations. Meet people where they are. A candidate who wants Medicare for all wins Dems: This scourge must be eliminated not only from the party, but from the country too.
Mel Brooks is the goat. Easily. No debate. Happy 100th.
I thought I’d aged out of adopting new slang, but mog and goon are just great words
This same article but about Becky Rositano breaking up with me in 8th grade
I'm a goalkeeper in spirit. I sign up for the lowest effort job and then I berate my co-workers when I'm forced to do something.
I think not getting famous deserves some of the credit here too
Superstitious Knicks fans have to vote for Muslim mayors in perpetuity now
Taylor making Haim break the news that they only got three tickets as I stand beaming with excitement in my Richard Knickson shirt
Every bookstore I browse now has a “trending” table covered in paperbacks that are all variations on the story, “I got fucked on vacation”
We’re living in a time where every week you could write a new We Didn’t Start The Fire using only the events from that week.
Me: *Trying to scroll to the bottom of an IG message from an ex coworker I haven’t talked to in years. Instagram: Oh hell yeah, turning on disappearing mode. Time to get nasty you little freak. I’ll notify the other person that you want disappearing mode so they know you’re a hot horny freak.
Father of a 1 and 3-year-old here. You’re about to get peed on a lot. I wouldn’t do it recreationally in advance.
