Trump’s fake reason for the Canadian tariffs is because we’re bringing drugs over the US border. You know, that drug, that Canada makes, that America just can’t get enough of it? No, no that one. Not that one either. Insulin.
Robin Wilding
@robinwilding.bsky.social
A flawsome Canadian humor writer. https://substack.com/@robinwilding
Are you sick and tired of being an American? Well, print this off, attach it to a stick—and plant it on your lawn. Start telling everyone you now identify as a Canadian Your new pronouns: Oh / Eh
Now that’s how you have a peaceful and respectful transfer of power. 🇨🇦❤️
Canada exports $1.6 billion in toilet paper to the US. *twists mustache evil maniacally… Shit is about to get real 😆
a little girl wearing a red jacket and white fur collar
ALT: a little girl wearing a red jacket and white fur collar
media.tenor.com
I love that this piece went viral on Substack--and absolutely adore that Americans were cheering us Canuckleheads on. ♡
The 2027 American War with Canada — A Soldier’s Perspective
A tale of humorous woe from the sub-arctic front lines
wildingout.substack.com
Can you get back on the horse again? ...or Pogo stick?
I’m Nervous To Dust Off the Hoohaw After Being Accidentally Celibate
Getting back on his horse might be weird
wildingout.substack.com
t’s so cold where I live in Canada that even our portapotty’s need winter coats. To keep shit from freezing I guess.
Someone out there is holding their breath waiting for you to fail. After 5 minutes without oxygen, humans can experience brain damage…let them hold it til you succeed.
While Canada takes most of what the Hungry Hungry Hypocrite says with a grain of salt and 5th of tequila, your threats of a northern takeover are irksome. It went from the good-natured ribbing that our country is used to, to actual annexation aspirations. But I have a solution for Genghis Don…
“Trump, Politely Fuck Off” — Sincerely, Canada
You can’t have Canada, this isn’t Monopoly
wildingout.substack.com
Dear Trump, Thank you for your ‘kind’ offer to annex our country of Canada. But we are currently disinclined to acquiesce to your request. That’s ‘fuck off’ in Polite. ~Sincerely, Canada
The start of the story of my dog-park-dude romance...
Does He Like Me — Or My Dog?
It’s a dog-park crush, but on who?
wildingout.substack.com
Yeah, because they deserve it. They’re better people than people.
This guy figured out the secret code to women—we just want giant blocks of cheese.
Scholastic book fairs were the ultimate in flexing that allowance and babysitting money.
I just heard the most epic insult—"Well, aren’t you just a waste of 2 billion years of evolution”.
The grown up version of Go Fish is certainly an adjustment 😆
I’m desperately hoping Santa can fit this down the chimney that I don’t have.
One of the rare upsides of adulthood (otherwise it's a trap).
I figured out why all us meat sacks are wandering the earth, probably.
This is the Meaning of Life, Probably
I figured out the cosmic realm while doing the dishes
wildingout.substack.com
These days there's far too many dicktim's out there pussyfooting about.
I will curse your entire future genetic line if you add a dish while I'm doing them.
The average adult has sex 54 times per year. Based on that math—the last two weeks of this month are about to be wild for me. 😎
My old girl appreciates the new coat I got her. I tried to repurpose last year’s to fit over her ever-growing humpback…but it wasn’t working. Her badonkadonk didn’t fit in it.
Be proud of all you’ve accomplished, even if it’s not as much as you’d hoped. Because—spoilers —it’s never as much as we hope.
Another thing I wrote, for those of us who are cool cucumbers in a world spinning out of control.
Am I Crazy, Or Is The World Nuts?
Is calmness in a chaotic world a mental disorder in itself…
wildingout.substack.com
