Another strange sighting caught on a security camera on level 3. A woman painted to look like a broken porcelain doll is dancing around and laughing manically. She was throwing out presents. Onlookers report she said, “Hey you silly fuckers! I’ve got something for y’all!” #rollforbullshit #podcast

A clip from the Bunker Bugel “Thomas Middleton, whose son was reported abducted by some strange conductor, found his son in his own bed this morning. He old some story about a magical train, and Santa giving him a bell. According to Middleton; ‘It dosen’t fucking ring.’” #rollforbullshit #podcast

A snippet from a notice board at the common area on level one; “Have you heard it? The weird sounds of a train driving through the swamp? I feel like I’m going crazy, but I saw my son on it. It took off towards Baton Rouge, and then… I don’t know. I was in my bedroom.” #rollforbullshit #podcast

Breaking News Conrad Stalthorn, the bunker resident that went missing has been found! Stalthorn appeared in the common area on level 2 this morning, and shouted about “Not being such a crotchety old shit head”. He will be joining the planning Christmas committee this year. #rollforbullshit #podcast

Conrad Stalthorn is still missing. Bunker residents have seen him as a ghostly visage. Once accompanied by an unknown individual in modern clothing, and one in a hooded black bathrobe. If you have any information on Stalthorn’s whereabouts, contact security. #rollforbullshit #podcast #screwged

Bunker resident Conrad Stalthorn is still missing, but was spotted as a ghostly figure. He, along with a strange figure dressed in old English attire were seen speaking on a mirror on the ground floor. It seems as though Stalthorn is trapped in some alternate dimension. #rollforbullshit #podcast

Clipped from the Bunker Bugle Conrad Stalthorn has gone missing from his quarters. Stalthorn was known to be a typical Scrooge, with little to no care for other bunker residents. He has been missing for 2 days, and all are encouraged to report findings to security. #rollforbullshit #podcast

Excerp from Bunker News at 11 Bunker resident Dash was found by friends this morning. He is physically unharmed, but he seemed to be in distress. His friends said that he kept mentioning being a better person, and “Not being such a little shit.” #rollforbullshit #podcast #christmas #nerd #naughty

Security footage from level 3 shows a terrible scene. Citizen Dash is seen chasing an unidentified animal through a corridor and stops when he sees a shadowy figure. It had horns, and when Dash seemed to speak to it a chain pulled the young man into the shadows. #rollforbullshit #podcast #naughty

Excerpt from a memo, from the desk of our quartermaster: Does your little one need a new book for you to read to them? Thanks to a mysterious donor, I discovered a crate of books in the stockpile. There are plenty of them, so why not pick one up for the little ones? #rollforbullshit #podcast #book

Footage from a security camera shows a small snowman with a yellow hat and holly leaves sneaking into the warehouse on level 3. Quartermaster Dolly is shown to have been filling acquisition forms at the time. She heard a ghostly voice say, “Jingle Jangle Jingle.” #rollforbullshit #podcary #mrbingle

Smith’s Log 12/1 As disastrous as the aftermath of Thanksgiving was, those three pulled it off well. Cookie was less than thrilled, but he was locked in an oven. I was furious at first, but the food was amazing. -There appears to be a memo at the bottom of the page- Who has been using my journal?

Happy Thanksgiving from the RollForBullshit Podcast! To celebrate, the Bunker Buddies are preparing Thanksgiving dinner for the bunker! Will Cookie escape confinement? Will our trio of friends save Thanksgiving from bland food? Will Eric desecrate the kitchen somehow? Tune in to find out!

Smith’s Log 11/26 *It appears as though the words are hastily written in the entry* Chaos. Disorder. Stay out of the kitchen, and abandon hope all ye who enter. The food is cursed, and your gods can’t save your bowels from the gumbo. #rollforbullshit #podcast #bunkerbuddies #thabksgiving #nerd

Smith’s Log 11/25 So I think I was wrong to doubt Cookie. I think his gumbo recipe has gotten better. It looks a little creamy, and it’s a little bland, but that should make it easier for people with sodium requirements to eat. The chicken is also quiet… supple. #rollforbullshit #podcast #supple

Smith’s Log 11/24 Cookie assures me that this Thanksgiving is going to be the best in history. Given his history, I imagine that his ‘gumbo’ recipe is going to be the crowning glory of Thanksgiving. Maybe I can convince Charles to lock the old man up and make real food. #rollforbullshit #podcast

Smith’s Log 11/21 I told Linus to fix the problem with the hat gremlin in the vent. According to him, he would have to activate purging protocols, and that could cause irreparable harm to the ventilation system. Can one normal day go by? #rollforbullshit #podcast #trumpee #thanksgiving #burnitnow

Smith’s Log 11/20 Why in the Kentucky Fried fuck is there a toupé running around the air ducts, again? Why is a sentient hair piece even alive?! The damn thing tried to latch on to my head as I passed under a vent. The little shit thought I would be an easy meal. Asshole. #rollforbullshit #podcast

Smith’s Log 11/19 Linus told me that some of our external hardware is malfunctioning. Something about a relay failing. Apparently it was to warrant him and Eric to leave the bunker immediately. I don’t like how that silly puddy fuck looked at me. #rollforbullshit #podcast #Thanksgiving #nerd #food

Smith’s Log 11/18 The civilians in this bunker whine about everything. I want there to be green bean casserole! I want pumpkin pie! Do I look like a giant frog or a war vet that lives in the kitchen? Fucking children. I’m starting to understand Charles, and that scares me. #rollforbullshit #podcast

Smith’s Log 11/17 Someone made some kind of bone that I didn’t get. Something about nuts, and I couldn’t be bothered to give a fuck. The pressure of these trivial holidays seems as stressful as daily ops. Maybe Cookie was serious when he said he needed help. #rollforbullshit #podcast #nerd #holiday

Smith’s Log 11/13 Well, those three came back alive with enough turkeys for each family to have one for Thanksgiving. I think what concerns me more than the turkeys looking exactly the same is that Cookie gave Eric a rifle with one round. I think I need to talk to him. #rollforbullshit #podcast

It’s that time again! Welcome back to the Roll for Bullshit Podcast! Today, the bunker buddies talk about Ancient Greece, Vlad Tepes, and ancient Egypt! Listen as they discuss historical things like Vikings, the Dark Ages, and listen as Eric and Charles go to hunt for a turkey! Will the catch it?

Smith’s Log 11/11 Some kid came up to me about an hour ago, and asked me to make a wish. I said wishes are for genies and the delusional and kept going. I think he was some kind of luck-based mutant, because I stubbed my dick on a handrail down the hallway. Little shit. #rollforbullshit #podcast

Smith’s Log 11/10 Doctor Holly told me to take a day to rest and get my mind off. I told her that people in hell want ice water. Anyways, everything is on track for Thanksgiving. Cookie sent those three out to get turkey, so hopefully the swamp doesn’t eat them. Maybe. #rollforbullshit #podcast

Smith’s Log 11/7 I’m losing my fucking mind. I was walking through one of the hallways near my office when I heard a voice. MY voice. Talking about how I love bureaucratic nonsense and being a ‘grumpy fucker’. I’m going to talk to Dr. Holly. #rollforbullshit #podcast #nerd #hearingvoices #therapy

Smith’s Log 11/6 He can cook. I… I’m stunned. Cookie brought lunch around, and said it was jambalaya. Now Cookie has made this before, but it was never this good. He told me that Charla made, and my entire body tensed. Fucking Charles. #rollforbullshit #podcast #nerd #jambalaya #feelingfroggy

Smith’s Log 11/5 So apparently Cookie has a new hand in the kitchen. Charles (voluntarily I think) offered to help around the kitchen. At first I thought it was to shit in the industrial microwave, but he hasn’t yet. The kids are still running around screaming cock. #rollforbullshit #podcast #nerd

Smith’s Log: 11/4 One of the civilians learned the word spatchcock today, and has taught everyone under the age of 13 to use it. I bet it’s Charles. Anyways, the planning stages have begun, and I suspect that Cookie is going to need hep. He’ll be thrilled. #rollforbullshit #podcast #togetherness

Smith’s Log: 11/3 Some of the bunker residents want to plan for a huge feast in honor of Thanksgiving this year. I don’t see a point, but those three are spear heading plans, and Cookie is prepping the kitchen. As long as resources aren’t pressed, we should be fine. #rollforbullshit #podcast #nerd