First night of not smoking weed during the the week… brutal
When I’m packing I love to prematurely zip all my bags so I can zip and unzip them again at least 40 more times
This is the day I show up at work and don’t remember any of my coworkers names
Glad we made it through everyone’s year end review posts
My wife is 5’4” and my dog is 5lbs— every night I have no place to sleep in my own bed
Bought a fan for our bedroom and my life is so different now
Still some joy in this world—made a Jodeci chain for one of my favorite people
If this app doesn’t stop showing me pictures of fucking cats I’m gonna have to leave
“We’re never coming back to this fuckin dump!!” I yelled as I left to take the dog for a walk
My wife is making fish tacos for dinner and it’s all I can think about
It’s a certain PTSD hearing your youth dance competition songs while you’re outside later in life
I’ve failed exactly every email phishing test my company has sent out. Now I have to sit through a training. 😵💫
My wife fell for pretty much every internet April Fools joke yesterday
About to get my wife stoned and take her to get a Costco membership for our one year wedding anniversary
Can’t tell if I’m just old or if Drag Race this season actually sucks