Hear me out. PUSHED pork. YANKED chicken.
Minor league b3tan bloke
@rotatingwobblyhat.bsky.social
Brain farter. Weirdo. Gadgeteer and inventor of nonsense. Follow me for bullshit pictures and horseshit puns.
My bowels are regular as clockwork and also contain a musical wooden cuckoo and some counterweights and lose two minutes a day.
Call your Essex nightclub ‘Tots 2000’ and then explain it’s not SUPPOSED to be a place for picking up underage girls.
I have a very specific type of synaesthesia, when I touch a Moog I can hear squelchy chocolate.
Stay on the Scene (Get on up) like a fax machine (Get on up).
Lads, I did it. I made a contribution to the ‘Work Free Self Inprovement Library’. 🎶One of these things is not like the other things🎶
It is true, pets do have their own individual traits and personalities. Bee, for example (right), is a Grade A Cunt. (Bee is short for Beelzebub.)
“If you havent got anything to say then don’t say anything at all” would lead to me getting an honorary membership of the Trappists.
The lift attendant at the Carlsberg brewery. “This floor is Lager”
“Your writing is so efuckative” I gush to Jeffrey Archer.
Looking at the work ‘free library’ and wondering if it would kill them to put in a Far Side compendium.
Knowledge is knowing that nails are as hard as steel. Wisdom is knowing steel isn’t that hard.
Somewhat counterproductively, Temu send me spam marketing emails every day saying ‘Oh! We messed up!’as a false premise to why they’re going to cut me a massive deal on some crap, but that just comes across as a company that messes up everything regularly and shouldn’t be trusted with my money.
Throwing spaghetti at the wall to see if it’s cooked except the wall is the tunnel wall of a subway and I am on a train doing 50mph trying to throw the spaghetti through the narrow slit of the safety window
If we had a king called Benjamin then our National Anthem could be ‘It’s Reigning Ben’. Jussayyin.
Dante’s 4th circle of hell is about as paper-thin a metaphor you can get for waiting for the next payday. I mean it’s as obvious as a blonde in a skimpy negligee on the Benny Hill show called Mrs Shagalot with two daughters called Doomie-Upp and Thewrongunn.
Wish I could have been a fly on the wall when someone first told PETA about Pokémon. “They’re doing WHAT??!! Encouraging kids to catch wild animals, keep them in tiny cages and only bring them out to fight each other??”
Wait wait wait….. a Whiteboard…. But it’s *BLACK*!!!
This yogurt tastes odd… *reads label again* HANG ON, THIS IS “DOGURT”. (Boutique pet snacks are getting weird).
I don’t go around kicking over trash cans but if there’s an empty baked bean tin on the street, it’s ON motherfucker.
If you see this, quote the energy you bring to BlueSky
Time-Lapse: Fruits Rotting and Molding
ALT: Time-Lapse: Fruits Rotting and Molding
static.klipy.com
Steef@steefdeprouw.bsky.social · 2d agoIf you see this, quote the energy you bring to Bluesky.
‘Necrosis’ is a shorthand term for a nun that has sex with dead bodies.
Hmm, someone seems to have put one of my hairs in my sandwich. *rushes up to strangers on the street* “Was it you? WAS IT YOU?”.
I’m afraid I’ve been a bit of a Silliam William.
When you’re learning to juggle and they say, hey, put those clubs down and try with chainsaws, and then it’s let’s just start those chainsaws up for you, and then 5 seconds later ’tell you what, we’ll set them on fire!’. 5 minutes later, “How’s it going?” Me: 🤬 On an unrelated note I am at work.
We have extremely long passwords on our work system to make brute-force cracking the kind of approach that would take 13.7 quintillion years to break and so we only have to change 1ce a year. I’ve been here 5 years now and have done Side 1 of Number Of The Beast’s track listing but I fancy a change.
This is the strangest Amiga mod I’ve ever seen.
Polyrhythm was invented when Amazon sent two metronomes to the Conservatoire in Paris instead of one and one got dropped unloading from the van.