They call me “Chew” because I’m in the Big Leagues 💯

Finally got my prescription today. Turns out the pharmacy will hand over any drugs if you show up with a gas can and a lighter! #LIFEHACK

FlyKnight is good 👍

White people taco night is like a whale-fall for little crusty dogs.

Elden Ring being labeled “Steam Deck verified” is the biggest crock of horseshit I’ve ever been served.

I put a pair of replacement headphones on my Throne because mine finally gave out after 4.5 years o7

In their defense, it’s really easy to confuse “OPT-IN” for “OPT-OUT” while mommy is digging crayons out of your ears.

Just shove the Hell-Scrubber up my ass at this point man

Trust no one. Not even your enemi- ...Wait, no. I should have seen this coming.

A hawk in the hand is worth tuah in the bush.

Sometimes my genius is... It's almost frightening.

If I play for even a minute more, I will be cursed for the rest of my life.

Sad to report that in this, the year of our lord, 2026, Lephantis is still really buggy :(

In my weed chamber smoking chamber pot

I CAN'T STOP WINNING

How it feels turning off my computer to lay in bed and play the exact same game.

The more I’ve been using the Amir skin on volt, the more I’ve discovered how remarkably similar our brain-rot is. What absolutely settled it was when he quoted a looney toons bit that I happen to have been referencing a lot recently.

Final Fantasy XIII has a save point every 3 minutes because that’s the maximum duration anyone can play before quitting out to goon to Lightning.

Rate the fit. #Warframe

Yeah we gay. Keep scrolling. #Jadeshadows #Warframe

Balance systems need some fine tuning.

For sale: Rubber baby buggy, never bumped.

Spent all afternoon planting in my garden. Now all I’m missing is a senior citizen saying “you’re gonna sleep good tonight!”

Listened to The Downward Spiral - NIN. Some of these lyrics BLEED edgelord Reddit atheism, and Hurt made me panic thinking my headphones were broken again 😵‍💫, but overall it’s pretty fucking good.

French furry artists making a “closed species” to honor their grandparents legacy of making a “closed bloodline”

You could bounce a Granum Crown off of it

Modern PIXAR is the same as modern Simpsons. Elaboration not required.

It’s nice to know that when this fascist empire crumbles away beneath our feet, there will be a soft cushion of inflatable frog costumes and dildos to land on at the bottom.

Hot bitches will put “Suggestive🔞” in their bio, but won’t take the suggestion to shake some ass.

Dating apps suck. I’m finding a wife on 3DS Streetpass.