I would like this to be a full song from an early 90s Disney princess.

It's Abby. Yep@itsabbyyep.bsky.social · 16h ago

✨what if it happened tonight ✨

If you choose 2-5 on the first row, you need to take some time to reflect on your poor life choices.

TwoSense@twosense.bsky.social · 18h ago

1 4 2or3

I’ve been refreshing myself with my MoCA test study notes. So if we do have war tomorrow, I’m ready to lead.

ceej@ceej.online · 2d ago

do we have war tomorrow

It is outrageous that Herman’s Hermits ever toured, much less step outside their houses. Also, their music was bad.

Me in the middle of a violent puke-attack inside a busy Hobby Lobby: Hey Meta, take a video.

Emo Phillips. Duh.

Don Moynihan@donmoyn.bsky.social · 6d ago

If not Matt Damon, who is you alternative Odysseus?

Downplay a book or movie: Star Spats

Comfortably Numb@numb.comfortab.ly · 6d ago

Downplay a book or movie: "The ok Gatsby "

It’s called “listening to the Cure.”

Twin Dad@twinsurvivalist.bsky.social · 3w ago

Is sad in a happy way a thing? I think it’s a thing.

Can turtles get too fat for their shells?

Me, a muffin man ally: Who? Never heard of him.

Fun@funkelly.bsky.social · 2w ago

don’t dox the muffin man

Life Is a Highway

Stereogum@stereogum.com · 2w ago

Fiona Apple's debut album 'Tidal' was released 30 years ago today. 💿 What's your favorite track?

you’ve simoned your last garfunkel

Marjorie James Keenan@unenthusiast.com · 3w ago

you've morked your last mindy

Our president struggles to read more than anyone has seen before. Massive struggles. He bigly struggles to prono…and this is huge…can’t pernonce…and you know it…can’t say words right.

When you start getting into lettuce parasite conspiracy theories, you’ve been doodoopilled.

alexis simpson@amutepiggy.bsky.social · 3w ago

(watching CBS evening news) Tony Doodoopill

#IranWarTracker Are we at war with Iran?: Possibly

LeBron to the Pacers

Your occasional reminder that no one has more turnovers in the NBA than LeBron James.

I heard Lindsey Graham fell out a window. Can’t prove it. It’s just what I heard.

Is the plural for Bigfoot Bigfoots or Bigfeet?

If someone has a Nazi tattoo, they probably don’t have just one problem.

The camera slowly zooms in on an unresponsive, confused Mitch McConnell in a hospital bed as the plaintive piano music fades into the chords of “Who Are You?”

OrbGazer@orbgazer.bsky.social · 4w ago

I think Pete Townshend licensed his songs too many times

Exhibit A: Hegseth’s tattoo

Tom Nichols@radiofreetom.bsky.social · last mo.

Take everything you know about Platner, then change his registration to GOP, and ask yourself if you would be this determined to ignore it all.

I’m really enjoying listening to the fireworks on the radio tonight.

I have never seen a silly goose in the wild. Not one. They are either stoic or menacing. Never silly. Silly Goose = Fake News

@michaelianblack.bsky.social Jealous?

alexis simpson@amutepiggy.bsky.social · last mo.

i have never lost a World Cup game #PerfectRecord

I propose: the first order of business at Nuremberg 2.0 should be that Trump has to take the dementia test live on TV.

I tripped into her DMs and chipped a tooth

TwoSense@twosense.bsky.social · last mo.

slid into his DMs and broke a hip

The algae is Antifa.

Sure. But how is the Dialog?

The New York Times@nytimes.com · 2mo ago

In @nytopinion.nytimes.com The 2010 novel “Super Sad True Love Story” describes a world that feels very much like the one we live in today — hypervisual, looks-obsessed, post-literate. Our columnist Ezra Klein spoke to its author, Gary Shteyngart, about how he sees the world today.

BOOOOOOOO!!!

USA TODAY@usatoday.com · 2mo ago

BREAKING: New York Knicks owner James Dolan says the team has accepted an invitation to the White House to celebrate the NBA championship.