The Wanderer is BACK and he's planting pieces of himself in everybody's minds when they look at him, which they can't help but do
Ryland@rylandduncan.bsky.social · 2y agoI'm making a special edition of Ted Lasso and I'm adding in a character called The Wanderer who is a sort of tan vibrating human blur who's sometimes in scenes laughing and caressing people. His laughter sounds like a garbage disposal
Haley Stevens trying to slowly soft launch talking normally again over the next few months but nobody will let her
found out my home town is on fire so my mom got evacuated but she's not staying with my sisters because the town three hours away where they live is also on fire. Washington State: It's Simply on Fire™
do you think the guy who named the fleshlight was laughing when he did it or really solemn
My partner is an extremely booked and busy artistic genius who is violently allergic to bread, eggs, and most dairy which are also things they're constantly trying to bamboozle me into feeding them. Only now, a year in, have I realized they're trying to trick me into Phantom Thread-ing them
if you eat five tamales and wash it down with a mangosteen flavor basil seed drink you become Perfect for 75 minutes. You can steal somebody's car and they'll chase after you to make sure you get their wallet too
Ryland@rylandduncan.bsky.social · 6d agodiscovered another perfect fluid get this in your body right away
discovered another perfect fluid get this in your body right away
ok so I heard you were wanting a life where it is possible to feel like you aren't exhausted and starving, we've got the perfect solution! the material whatcumstances? no, no. hahaha no
they're making Goonies 2 but it's about a methed up trucker hunting and eating the Goonies, who are still kids but played by the adult actors in mocap suits
despite being what I would call an average level of forgetful I live in abject terror of forgetting my stuff so like three times a day I feel Rescued when I see that the stuff that is in my backpack 100% of the time is in my backpack
I like it in King of the Hill when Hank realizes he thinks something is nice even though he thought it was bad earlier. Works on me every time, I'm like YEAH!!!!! It IS nice!!!!!!!!!!!
I don't think it would be good if Jimmy Fallon killed himself and I don't think it would be funny if Jimmy Fallon killed himself but I do think someone, in trying to police the Jimmy Fallon suicide discourse, would make a post so strange that it becomes one of the funniest posts of all time
they made a new law that if you wear a Halloween costume to the airport they can kill you. even if it's just one of those shirts that says "this IS my costume" they'll slit your throat right in the TSA line
I've burped 100 times today is that good? Am I becoming something more than human?
shout out to everyone else who fuckin hates sports but has learned to be nice about it, it's been a tough few months but surely there can't be any more of these things this year so we're finally in the clear
it is a special thing to find the drink you have been looking for all your life, resenting other drinks for not being
I think the strategists who make things like this happen should get jobs as mail carriers instead, they could bring people things they need and get good exercise doing their routes. If that doesn't sound good they could also just kill themselves, whatever gets em out really
August J. Pollak@augustjpollak.bsky.social · 3w agoCrowley, who was polling at 5%, dropped out. Dem leaders convinced him to get back in because they will get the governor to endorse him as well as ensure Mandela Barnes, who is polling at 25-30%, drops out. This is all to stop Hong, the person actually winning right now, because they love democracy
I think if a guy is smaller than me I should be allowed to pick him up and treat him like a baby. It's not going to be a problem, I'm going to be nice to the baby
If you eat 5 tamales for dinner, you will live forever. If you eat 5 tamales for dinner, you will never die.
I think a sport that would be good for the world is you get a team of 50 people selected jury duty style and they hunt a car with spears
extremely into this 60th anniversary ad campaign for Ultraman that makes it clear look, God is fake but Ultraman is for real and that's better, that's obviously much better
pluto put the episode of Frasier where they introduce Gil insisting he's straight to celebrate
RIP to Lindsey Graham, strangled to death by his 110 year old mother for having a smart mouth
I think we need to make a rule that if there's going to be a ton of live action anime remakes they all need to be in technicolor. you make a technicolor Sailor Moon movie they bury you in a pyramid, navy blue with the lights off they just tossing you to the hogs and the hogs are like ew, no
it would be so fucking cool if there was a second company to get internet from
eating a whole baguette rules. you gotta eat a baguette dude
