Darren Ewing

@sadknob.bsky.social

scots. telly writer/director he/him/his first show: "the rockford files" 1994 last show: "mobland" 2025 next show: has penguins in't. i'm against ai owned by billionaires. i purge my posts but meant what i said. a: hobo b: chimp wi' a megaphone (getty)

"no! i'm sorry, but charlotte is grounded and will not be listening to original songs, or watching your mating hop, or viewing any colourful plumage today. the end of the branch is that way."

photograph capturing three greenfinch birds on a tree branch. one has a wing raised horizontally and appears to be directing the others. (jacek stankiewicz)

"in the name of god, creator of heaven—" "wait! i changed my mind." "what?!" "i don't wanna go under water." "it's only for a moment." "i'm claustrophobic. i wanna be jewish instead." "they cut your penis off." "WHAT?!?" "yeah, so do you accept jesus—" "WAIT! what's the reincarnation one?"

two green frogs knocking about over territory in a pond in maine. one appears to be getting the better of the other. (grayson bell)

i first met sam neill in the late 80's on the set of jeremy brett's sherlock holmes. i think it was manchester studios. he and jeremy were pals. i was moving a light wi'out gloves cause i'm a tosser. i burned my hand. yelled "FUCK!" jeremy came right over, sam (who was visiting) in tow. (1/4)

"wow... you're... glowing." "stop saying that, nathan! just STOP! everyone says that—'oh, you're just glowing, beatrice!' pregnancy SUCKS, NATHAN! I'M FAT AND DISGUSTING AND IT'S YOUR FAULT!" "...no—i mean—you're head is 𝘢𝘤𝘵𝘶𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘺 glowing—" "SHUT UP AND GET ME ANOTHER PICKLE!!"

photograph of two cape gannet gulls standing near water. the bird on the right has sunlight on its face making its head appear to glow. (getty/co grift)

which way do we go?" "we go forward, pal." "...forward looks scary." "so we'll go together." "okay... thank you." "you're welcome. you know you're a gigantic fuckin' grizzly bear, right?"

a japanese bear stands on its hind legs leaning over a fence. next to it is a small crow. image was taken near noboribetsu park in hokkaido, japan. (getty/skaman306)

"MALCOLM!" "yeah?" "STOP SHAGGING THE TREE!" "...i'm not." "REMEMBER WHAT HAPPENED LAST TIME?! I WON'T HELP YOU AGAIN!" "okay." "I MEAN IT!" "...okay." "YOU'RE ALREADY STUCK AREN'T YOU!" "...a little... uh... yes."

a mule deer peeks out from behind a tree in leicester, uk. (helen cherry)

"yeah... you're stuck pretty good, pal. who was steering, stevie wonder? heh—well... me and the fellas can dig you out, but it's gonna cost you some fish... and one of those big nets you got." "...𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘢 𝘩𝘢𝘳𝘱𝘰𝘰𝘯 𝘨𝘶𝘯!" "oh, yeah! AND a harpoon gun. you got a harpoon gun?"

photograph of a polar bear standing upright and looking through a porthole into a ship locked in ice near svalbard, spitsbergen, norway. (arterra/universal)

"oh-my-god... i think it's a 𝘥𝘳𝘢𝘨𝘰𝘯!" "it's not a dragon." "it 𝘤𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥 be a dragon. some dragons have magic." "dragons don't exist. it's... some... thing..." "of course it's 𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨." "shut up. i'm thinking." "...𝘺𝘰𝘶 shut up." "it's not moving." "oh-my-god... i think it's a gargoyle!"

photo shows two cats (brown foreground and shorthair back) on their hind legs, perched on the back of an outdoor wicker couch, peering over a garden fence.

(emma beardsmore)

"𝘸𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘩𝘦𝘭𝘭 𝘢𝘳𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘸𝘦𝘢𝘳𝘪𝘯𝘨?" "i added some bling." "𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘱𝘶𝘵 𝘵𝘸𝘰 𝘴𝘯𝘢𝘪𝘭𝘴 𝘰𝘯 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘩𝘦𝘢𝘥, 𝘮𝘢𝘳𝘨𝘢𝘳𝘦𝘵." "so?" "𝘴𝘰... 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘭𝘰𝘰𝘬 𝘭𝘪𝘬𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶'𝘳𝘦 𝘭𝘰𝘢𝘥𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘭𝘶𝘨𝘨𝘢𝘨𝘦 𝘰𝘯𝘵𝘰 𝘢𝘪𝘳𝘱𝘭𝘢𝘯𝘦𝘴." "shut up." "...𝘭𝘪𝘬𝘦 𝘗𝘳𝘪𝘯𝘤𝘦𝘴𝘴 𝘓𝘦𝘪𝘢'𝘴 𝘤𝘰𝘶𝘴𝘪𝘯, 𝘏𝘪𝘭𝘥𝘦𝘺." "i'm ignoring you." "𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘭𝘰𝘰𝘬 𝘭𝘪𝘬𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶'𝘳𝘦 𝘢𝘣𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘵𝘰 𝘣𝘶𝘳𝘯 𝘢 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘤𝘩."

a white tree frog with two snails on its head that look like headphones. (tanto yensen/getty)

Y'all his lower image is AI slop, stop falling for this trash (and call out folks for using it). The real Google Earth imagery is amazing but does not "pop".... do better Prof. Rosenow. AI is a lie.

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