TYLER PERRY AS MADEA: name’s Bond. James Bond
The Independent@the-independent.com · 11h agoJames Bond producer shares update on 007 casting: ‘It’s got to be really different’
Same Sad Echo
@samesadecho.bsky.social
Former noted egg in pocket haver
The Independent@the-independent.com · 11h agomy phone can instantly tell me what birds I’m hearing and shows me what they look like
the bees were good again this week here are my top hives
are any of you sorceresses or wizards who can cast out my lower back pain
correct. raisins only belong in lobster rolls
Viktor Winetrout@viktorwinetrout.bsky.social · 2d agoPutting raisins in a cookie should be a felony
*drift away voice* gimme tomatoes and basil leaves add the mozzarella yeah some nice fresh cheese that’s caprese
when you're settling in to watch your dad's slideshow titled Remembering Some Guys
"please accept this basket of delicious lettuce, Supreme Leader"
Shipwreck@shipwreck75.bsky.social · 2d agoA senior officer in US Central Command’s (CENTCOM) intelligence branch emailed a broad group of military analysts seeking “new creative and unconventional ways to pressure and punish Iran.” A second source indicated a similar request went out the prior week.
driving around my hometown and listing all the places that used to be other places until my wife finally murders me
YOU: posting a screenshot of some twitter asshole ME: planning on what kind of sushi to get for dinner
but when @rmj.bsky.social does it at the Sunoco he’s a “monster” and “evil” and “his penis is hanging out of the costume”
Subscribe to Radio Free America (link in bio)@kleinman.bsky.social · 6d agoNYPD should do this www.nj.com/middlesex/20...
Downplay a book or movie: The Shawshank Resolution
Jake_Vig@jakevig.bsky.social · 6d agoDownplay a book or movie: "Reasonable Expectations"
you guys ever heard of this Fleetwood Mac band? they’re pretty good
the rainfall in Albany is insane. A 1000 year event (a storm that would statistically occur once every thousand years) would drop 8.5 inches of rain over 24 hours. Some towns have seen 11 inches in less than 12 hours. unreal [please insert your dick jokes elsewhere]
@ginerso.bsky.social um… are you still alive? the rainfall totals I’m seeing are insane
luckily fainting couches are still fully deductible
Vince Mancini@vincemancini.bsky.social · last wk.Oh no, not your mom’s pied-a-terre!!!!!!!
ME: hey man why the long face? I thought you were journaling about how much fun you had making that surfing bank robbery movie? KEANU REEVES [holding up a pencil]: point break
yeah because as soon as you deposit it, it’s your ex-money
The Verge@theverge.com · last wk.X Money is launching in the US starting today
🎵 I dumped it one limb at a time and that’s not even a crime 🎵
Coach Rusty@coachrusty.bsky.social · last wk.whenever I see a woman carrying a yoga mat I like to imagine she’s concealing a human arm in there in an attempt to covertly dispose of a body one limb at a time
my son got a chicken sandwich labeled “hot AF” from a 7-11 that he couldn’t eat. I took a bite and let me tell you, 7-11 does not fucking lie
UPDATE: of *course* she wants dinner, you fucking idiot
Same Sad Echo@samesadecho.bsky.social · last wk.my wife and daughter are coming home from a trip today. I asked what time they'd be home and what if I should plan dinner for them. My wife said "we'll be home at 7 - 7:15." Does this mean: yes they want dinner, you fucking idiot no they don't want dinner, you fucking idiot
my wife and daughter are coming home from a trip today. I asked what time they'd be home and what if I should plan dinner for them. My wife said "we'll be home at 7 - 7:15." Does this mean: yes they want dinner, you fucking idiot no they don't want dinner, you fucking idiot
“they can not see me naked” - Michael Stipe, on why he showers in the dark
I liked the movie but the last line of “boy that was some odyssey, huh” was a little much
*the first cut is the deepest* the first mode is the depeche
