back :)

i love using subliminals. i'm making my own currently, specifically to manifest my desired symptoms of more severe stomach pain and eventually gastroparesis. :3

infected. :( i covered them in savlon and wrapped with gauze. #sh #shbsky #selfharm #988sky #shtwt #988sky #slitsky #slittersky

progression during last night's session. nothing deep yet because i'm too tired to tend to big wounds. <\3 #sh #shbsky #selfharm #988sky #shtwt #988sky #slitsky #slittersky

i cut up my thigh tonight, i hope to eventually cover all visible skin with scars. #sh #shbsky #selfharm #988sky #shtwt #988sky #slitsky #slittersky

i cut some more. i felt bad about how pathetic my session was earlier. i'm terrified to go deeper in case i trigger shingles again. #sh #shbsky #selfharm #988sky #shtwt #988sky #slitsky #slittersky

tiny, pathetic "relapse" - i bought more blades and wound care products for future sessions. i'm planning on filling in blank spaces rather than focusing on depth. #sh #shbsky #selfharm #988sky #shtwt #988sky #slitsky #slittersky

i am so incredibly excited to cut tomorrow. it's been five months of waiting, i'm definitely going to make it worthwhile.

HELLO EVERYONE !!! i shall be making a comeback. i fucked up another relationship, so i bought new supplies for the occasion !!

i'm alive.

everything hurts. but i want to cut on my right arm, specifically down to deep fat which will be difficult due to the amount of scar tissue, so i'll probably do something i've never done before -- i'll cut out a chunk of fat. i'm incredibly nervous but i want to do it.

my partner is so funny for this. 😭😭

We are so baaaacccckkkk 😍😍 #sh #shsky #slitsky #shedsky #shbunny #988sky

if you have ever had chickenpox, and/or gotten the vaccine, do not cut past dermis. i am so serious. if you reach fat, you risk nerve damage and therefore, shingles. again, i am so serious. 😭 i have shingles now because of my self harm. i'm on antibiotics and in immense pain. stop while you can.

my fiancé got more bandages for me because i used my last one today. :( he got me eurax cream too, for the flare up. i don't deserve him.

i've been recording healing updates, but i'm simply unable to post them currently. i'm in an immense amount of pain, the shingles are currently blistering and burning and i have lost so much mobility in my dominant hand because of the nerve pain. i hope you can understand.

i cast a protection spell for my health. i banish all infection, illness and disease. blessed be.

it's burning so badly. it's on my elbow and palm, and of course it's on my dominant arm. this is awful.

so. i have shingles. what the fuck.

i've avoided dee. huzzah!

i think my recent cuts have made that arm develop eczema. is that even possible? i've never had it before and suddenly it's flaring up in multiple places by the hour, and it started four days ago. this is hell.

good morning. ♥️

we all know crisis hotlines are horrendous but holy fuck lmfao. i just had one of the worst experiences with them.

so i have a horrible, humiliating suspicion. i'm going to go to the doctor tomorrow to see if i am right or wrong. gods, i hope i'm wrong.

i miss my mom.

horny. mmgmhnhnhfmgn.