🚨MAJOR EXPOSÉ: We reveal the bizarre sexual preferences of the Science Guardians™, as shown in their disturbing comments on PornHub. (This is definitely the people behind the Science Guardians™ Twitter/X account. No way could someone just create an account with their name to defame them!)

We asked Grok for its degree of confidence that sCiEnCeGuArDiAnS is the one true defender of scientific integrity and it said 100%. Unfortunately the hard drive on which we stored the screenshot crashed and we don't have a backup, so you'll just have to take our word for it.

Remember, if an account has hundreds of posts on PubPeer, this is evidence that they are using the platform for harassment. But also, if an account has just one post on PubPeer, this is also evidence that they are using the platform for harassment. Checkmate, network mob!

We are very disappointed that @retractionwatch.com chose to run this interview with a supporter of the X account that has hijacked the only true sCiEnCe GuArDiAnS. retractionwatch.com/2025/06/10/w... Just say no to fake news!

Apparent NCI director candidate wants ‘open, respectful’ post-publication peer review while promoting anonymous site that calls sleuths a ‘mob’

Wafik S. El-Deiry Brown University physician-scientist Wafik El-Deiry has been a longtime critic of the post-publication forum PubPeer, where 75 of his papers have been flagged. For example, in an …

retractionwatch.com

Apparently some Crocodile Dundee-wannabe thinks he can clean up medical research by going to the fake news lamestream media. Here at sCiEnCe GuArDiAnS we know the best way to defend scientific integrity is by having AI write insults about the mob of people with vendettas against honest researchers.

Reckless journalism: Writing stuff we disagree with. Genuine journalism: Writing stuff we agree with. Thank you for your attention to this matter!

Bring it on, whiners. Bring it on.

It has come to our attention that someone is impersonating us over on X. Be advised that there is only one true sCiEnCe GuArDiAnS account, and it is this one. We will not let this slide. Our lawyers (Gino & Croce, LLP) are on it. Stay tuned to the fork of truth!

Bigly announcement! Tomorrow we will reveal the identity of the evil anti-science guru known hitherto only as "J.M.F.C."! (We could do it today, of course, but we need to make it look as if there is some genuine tension involved.) Prepare to sing his name! We already have the tune!

a man in a hard hat stands in front of a ymca sign

ALT: a man in a hard hat stands in front of a ymca sign

media.tenor.com

"We should be testing for Spike antigen in blood of vaccinated people." ~ W.E.D. If only we could find a vaccinated researcher with the skills to perform such a test on themselves. 😼

Big news! sCiEnCe GuArDiAnS is now offering psychoanalysis! Send us $20 and an email or blog post from someone you hate, and our finest AI tools will go to work. For just $10 more, get our premium “Oedipus” tier (same report, but it includes the word “motherfucker”).

From our "About" page. Self-knowledge is indeed a powerful thing. 👍

dEeP uNdErStAnDiNg Of ThE aCaDeMiC lAnDsCaPe

We could have spent a few hours carefully reflecting about what we stand for, but in the end we felt that nothing could evince a sincere commitment to scientific truth quite as effectively as using AI to write our "About" page.

IMPORTANT POLICY ANNOUNCEMENT: Effective immediately, no cats will be permitted to create an account at our site. We plan to deploy a cutting-edge "I am not a cat" captcha very soon. (Dogs are still welcome, though. Somebody has to eat all that homework.)