You can tell a lot about a person by the way they store their leftover containers

If you think about it, our first trial by fire was being born.

Proof of life

It’s best not to go shopping when you’re hungry anyway

nalgona@hippobottomus.bsky.social · 6d ago

getting bred before going to costco is a kirkland staple in my house

I’ve yet to figure out how to store half an avocado without it getting brown. Who’s got the hack? 🙏

Where would one meet couples looking for a thruple?

How many movies is Anne Hathaway gonna be in this year???

The pick me gays are out in full force today

People I don’t fuck around about (to be updated):

See a mirror, take a picture

Every home printer I’ve had was a POS. Why is this?

The Doomsday trailer got me excited

What time is the Madonna concert on today?

New Keke Palmer memes just dropped. Take your pick.

I love you, Canada but you’re killing me with this smoooooke 💨🔥

Why does Microsoft always have to lie? That update took way longer than 5 minutes.

It’s too fucking hot to cook

Do you think anyone would notice if I sat in the bathroom for the rest of the day?

mikey (he/him)@sfij.bsky.social · 4w ago

Fine, I guess I’ll go to work 🤬😡

Fine, I guess I’ll go to work 🤬😡

I burned myself while cooking (again) 🤬

Shirley Manson is loudmouth badass and I love it.

Sometimes I wear a singlet to feel sexy 🤭

Damn, Beyoncé didn’t even let Confessions II breathe before releasing new music

She’s back on the grid

Confessions II delivers 🪩🕺💃

Red flag when someone says happy 250th birthday America in their out of office. 🚩🚩🚩🚩

I think we got it right when we made Bad Bunny famous

Where should I crop this shirt?

Sushi time!

mikey (he/him)@sfij.bsky.social · last mo.

Biiitch now let me get this sushi and watch the latest episode of The Valley