avocados used to be mostly for making a weird beauty face mask. now of days they put them on a toast. one of the many issues with today's generations
The Ol' Syrupy Sopper
@shoegays.online
What if u were watching lizzie McGuire and she looked right at u and started screaming and never stopped. anyways i sell shirts and stickers at slopcorp.lol
crazy movie fact: in 8 mile eminem's name is B Rabbit because He B Rabbing (Rapping)
been living in single-floor places for years now and now that i have a downstairs i'm having this really annoying issue where i need an upstairs and downstairs version of all my stuff. like i'm not gonna go downstairs to get my headphones. that's insane. i'll just spend $300 again
i, on the other hand, am always selling ad space in my obituary and will even provide early bird discounts if you sign up now
Jordan@slclunk.com · 2w agoIf I die in anyway that makes news, please don’t write about me like this.
tattoo artists love to post 98% of a bare vagina on my instagram feed at 3:46 pm on a wednesday
great. just great. somehow on my way to the grocery store i've managed to piss off both zeus and poseidon.
ME: Okay so you're gonna want to fast travel to Mohgwyn Palace, then head over to this site of grace. If you shoot that bird with a bow it'll walk off the cliff. Easiest way to grind runes at least until level 80 THE OTHER 100 GUYS WAITING TO HIT ON PENELOPE: Alright man I think your times up
revolutionary baby encouraging other babies to throw away their pacifiers: "they just use these things to pacify us!"
i'm gonna be so real, you could tell me taco bell ground beef was made from armadillo ankles and i'd still go there
mitch mcconnell showing up in the senate tomorrow with a huge juicy ass and cornrows and acting like everything is normal
every time i put a Joe Is Hungry video on for someone new they always say "the food is probably cold by the time he gets back to the studio." you fool. you clearly don't know about the Sneakadoodle Bite. maybe keep your mouth shut and learn something before you speak
[EDITOR'S NOTE: HOLD UNTIL END OF USA-BEL] IF USA WIN: fuck yeah usa #1 lmao IF USA LOSS: whatever NFL season starts next month
we're putting the "it's so over -> we're so back" meme into a particle accelerator
gatorade bottles now come in a limited edition pre-piss-filled version
this is one of the most insane sports games in history lol
something finally goes the united states' way and of course everyone's mad 🙄 can we just have ONE thing??
if you can't handle me at my "lick doo - kyuss (1994)" then you don't deserve me at my "preview - built to spill (1994)"
i designed a couple bumper stickers for my fav twitch streamers @gooffkings.bsky.social! you can buy them as part of a sticker pack for the next couple weeks at unfunnyfatfucks.com!
"pack the court" is so 2020 hopecore. just let them all wither into dust, bulldoze the building and build a laser tag arena on top