french patrol to jean valjean french patrol to jean valjean take your loaf of bread and put your shackles on (two) french patrol to jean valjean (four, six, zero, one) his sentence ends, parole’s begun (two, four, six, zero) said the bishop “and may god’s love be with you” (one, run off)
I just got mad at my little game I was playing, and said out loud "oh, go shit your ass, you fuck"
To the baker that packaged today's bagel order such that each type of bagel was actually bagged individually, meaning the plain bagels didn't get all the seeds and stuff from the everything bagels all over them, could you please come back to the cafe so I can kiss you on the mouth?
All together now y'all, ready 1, 2, 3: Tonight is bins night
Until today I have never had to describe someone's sneeze as blood-curdling
*motion sensor turns on bright lights and plays canned recording* HELLO. IF YOU ARE A BOY ANIMAL HOW BIG ARE YOUR NUTS. IF YOUR A GIRL ANIMAL HAVE A NICE DAY
Went to my friend's wedding and all I saw was a pair of softball-sized testicles
Well, it finally happened I had to get out of my car at a stop light and yell at the driver ahead of me to please pull forward in the turn lane because they had stopped so far back that the sensors didn't register there was anyone trying to turn left. Almost two full cycles and they didn't notice.
Say girl, are you a young man waiting for news of your father's return from a treacherous journey across the Mediterranean? Cuz ur the only Telemachus
It's the type of heat that no matter what I do, all I really feel like doing is sitting on the floor going "buhhh"
I have become Uncomfortablly dumb Jk ive always been this way
Nothing makes me feel like more of a bum than not knowing anything about downtown Portland, Oregon. Customers will ask me for recommendations and my go-to is always "...uhhh, go walk around until you find something interesting. And if that doesn't work, use Google. Sorry haha" Your barista is a bum
You're so right craigslist, I did actually mean to search in "housing", and not "for sale" when I looked up "mini fridge", thank you so much for automatically taking me there. I am definitely on the market for an entire house, and it is very important to me that it includes a mini fridge.
Of all of the various takeaways or feelings I have about The Odyssey (2026), the one that I think is going to sit with me for a while is that it has been a long time since I've physically felt my jaw drop so many times in one film. What a treat that was.
Damn girl are you a chicken from the cognac region of france? Cause you're the only hen I see
It happened tonight folks, it's a bday miracle
SlobTheBuilder@sighhless.bsky.social · last mo.Don't talk to me until I've had my daily 7-sneezes-in-a-row session
Breaking in the birthday air fryer with the ol' triple corn dog dinner
I just had a 20 minute conversation with Mitch McConnell about my birthday, he was so excited to hear about all my plans and gave me great advice on how to serve my vegetables during dinner. Thanks Mitch ❤️
It's my birthday which means you get a selfie 😘 Ok see you next year for my next selfie
Waking up to dozens of NextDoor notifications, people saying the air feels clearer, the sky a little bluer? Birds are chirping a little louder than normal? Oh and something about baby rabbits and baby deer playing together again? I wonder if something happened late last night
