"Good afternoon." "How do you do, sir?" "Sucker!"

"Boys and girls, Mrs. Krabappel, I come before you today to solve a riddle that has plagued mankind for centuries. What has four legs and ticks?" "A walking clock?" "I'd wager he has some variety of walking clock in that box." "Bart, is it a walking clock?"

"Hi, Homer. Thanks for inviting me to your barbecue." "Wow, Barney, you brought a whole beer keg." "Yeah, where can I fill it up?"

"Lisa, get in here! In this house, we obey the laws of thermodynamics!"

"Oh, man! Ned spilled ink all over my poems! He's a real flat tire. I mean a cube, man. He's putting us on the train to Squaresville, Mona."

"Homer, with our help, you'll never touch a beer again."

"Go home, science girl." "I am home." "Good. Stay there."

"Give me 700 Krusty Burgers!" "You want fries with that?"

"Hey, Lise, come look at this." "Neat."

♪ I slugged some jerk in Tahoe ♪ ♪ They gave me one to three ♪ ♪ My high-priced lawyer sprung me ♪ ♪ On a technicality ♪ ♪ I'm just visiting Springfield Prison ♪ ♪ I get to sleep at home tonight ♪

"I can't believe they stuck us at Tax-A-Chusetts."

"Hey, I thought you said Troy McClure was dead." "No, what I said was he sleeps with the fishes. You see..." "Uh, Tony, please, no. I just ate a whole plate of dingamagoo."

"Look, there's only one reasonable way to settle this. Rock, paper, scissors." "Poor predictable Bart. Always takes rock." "Good old rock. Nothing beats that." "Rock." "Paper." "D'oh!"

"The only way to survive a deadly blaze is... Oh, heck, life's too short for fire safety. Let's go outside and pick wild flowers."

"Well, guess who's flat broke and picking up trash for a living?" "Please be Flanders, please be Flanders, please be Flanders."

"Okay, you're fighting a guy named Boxcar Bob." "Brawled his way up from the boxcars, did he?" "No, not yet. He still lives at the train yard but he's a hungry young fighter. In fact, he's actually fighting for a sandwich."

"And here we have Duff, Duff Lite, and our newest flavor, Duff Dry."

"Wow, what an ending. Who would have thought Darth Vader was Luke Skywalker's father?" 'Well, thank you, Mr. Blow-The-Picture-for-Me."

"Hello, Marge. Hello, Marge."

"Dad, what are you doing down there?" "Washing my fat-guy hat, honey."

"Uh, good evening, young man. My name is Charles Norwood. Furthermore, to this beer, I would also like three of your finest, cheapest cigars. Here's my I.D., which confirms my adultivity."

"We won a dental plan in the strike of '88. That's where I got this scar. Where's my burrito?! Where's my burrito?! Where's my burrito?! Ow!"

"So, Mr. Simpson, you admit you grabbed her can? What do you have to say in your defense? Mr. Simpson, your silence will only incriminate you further. No, Mr. Simpson. Don't take your anger out on me! Get back! Get back! Mr. Simpson, no!"

"By the way, Homer. What's your least favorite country? Italy or France?" 'France." "Nobody ever says Italy."

"Oh. Well, I guess that explains everything." "Not everything. There's still the little matter of the whereabouts of your wife." "Um, I'm right here." "Oh, I see. Then everything is wrapped up in a neat little package. Really, I mean that. Sorry if it sounded sarcastic."

"Bartchat." "Are you Bart?" "Sure, I am. I didn't do nothin'." "Uh, isn't it, 'I didn't do it'?" "Yeah, whatever."

♪ I hate every ape I see ♪ ♪ From chimpan-a to chimpanzee ♪ ♪ No, you'll never make a monkey ♪ ♪ Out of me ♪ ♪ Oh my God, I was wrong ♪ ♪ It was Earth all along ♪ ♪ You've finally made a monkey ♪ ♪ Yes, we finally made a monkey ♪ ♪ Yes, you finally made a monkey ♪ ♪ Out of me♪ I love you, Dr. Zaius.