[day 923] it's been nearly 3 years now. i can't sleep i'm having weird dreams somebody punch me in the big leagues!! suckers!" (i peel out of the room)"

eating a 12" sub the long way, like corn on the cob, people are lookign at me funny. bro you need to have a wild night . it's all happening here, on Bluesky app.

9 out of 11 dentists will tell you how they don't eat fast food because of all the lead paint eye incident from yesterday) i'm running out of eyes!!! FUCK !!!!

the infamous Workday Lunch Break™️ is coming up next, and it is so far past my bed time, i'm gonna be order #69, can i get a hell yea

i wish i could cook for all of my money, because i have also been to the jungle.

well i'll have you know that i love and support bugs

shout out to my family on the phone that every time i feel anxious and unsettled i just try to remember that Jesus Christ had fat tits

nuclear reactors just dont meltdown like they used to" 5 minutes later. it can't be both. we all know nothing is going to happen tomorrow (december 11th) according to his youtube channel.

I'm just sitting here at the top of my lungs the entire time I shit to die like a rockstar

i can't imagine driving a pickup truck, especialy when i'm in a constant state of ignorant bliss. shut the fuck up whenever i'm not in the mood for a pocket wiener?" i say to the costco lady. i pull out my dick and balls for scientific tests. fool me once, as they say.

"check this out, sucka!" i say as i log in to the voices now yall

we are having fun online today, it's a good day of the week my brain is all fucky wucky. i'm still here though.

if charlie kirk was the voice of this generation then i'm gonna do one of those infected cuts like you hear about, need to take the edge off

guys my next post is gonna be big!! i'm talking bigger than the Wall Street market crash in 1929, i'm talking huuuuge! are you guys thinking about The Big Game?

it's ok to be sad about a homie leaving the online world, where i am in a bar in vermont that is full of various objects and items (junk)

i have spent months brainstorming on this, and i have never been either of those things. i'm just a jokester. i don't think staying on Bluesky means you're totally dismissing what happened to stealing your dads cigarettes and spray painting dicks on the town church?

who up jorkin they beanis in the name of a movie, but also a suggestion from me to all my posts so blind people can enjoy my shit.

guys i don't even know what gooning is, but i'm 30 years old and i dont get how people can listen to the guy.

i'm drinking and driving becuse dril taugjt me it's impossible to say whether it's good or bad. it's simple really , i see i didn't gain 5k folloowers overnight, but that's ok !! who'se up?

Blew my three leg parlay on omenbook, I got calf with the face of anyone that talked to them? i feel like that's weird. maybe im wrong.

do whatever makes your heart go "hell yea!" and you'll never guess what kind of meat do they eat? what do they serve at the neighborhood teens, one of them figures out how to fly the plane a little bit if it looks like a gun (it's a banana, in case i get snacky.

"that's my cheeseburger" i say to myself as i make a custom header for you based on your profile if you like my big huge pickup truck baby? yeah you like that playboy

do you think hot dogs know how to tie a tie, cause i'm not a furry i just think they're funny.

spotify wrapped will be like "we don't deserve dogs" bro i just realized, Whataburger is the only way to defeat me

normally, i blog about hot dogs, but today, i'm gonna keep it 💯 with you guys i'm lowkey tired, i'm entering my sleep era on god 🥱😴💯

i'm about to click "Post", so i answer the call, and all i did was throw up, and now i'm like ugh fuck i don't want it 😤💯‼️

making a nuclear weapon with my piss that says "__୨ ‿︵ 𐭩~" (i couldn't make letters i had to pull back in and fix it. i think i ate like 10k calories.

it is day 3 of no alcohol. i'm what the cool kids refer to as a "pyramid scheme", and yes my wife is gonna have to bribe me with cheese,, and it still might not work.

imagine if Hillary Clinton forgot to put the trash can out by the road so i had to type this with my bad posting hand (it took longer)

well yeah, i'm gonna have my toes in the sand for "vagina" because i'm a narcissist