"Because he's a character who's looking for his own identity, [He-Man is] an interesting role for an actor." -- Dolph Lundgren, "actor"

An engineer is someone who does list processing in FORTRAN.

"Who alone has reason to *lie himself out* of actuality? He who *suffers* from it." -- Friedrich Nietzsche

"I have more information in one place than anybody in the world." -- Jerry Pournelle, an absurd notion, apparently about the BIX BBS

After any salary raise, you will have less money at the end of the month than you did before.

If I have not seen as far as others, it is because giants were standing on my shoulders. -- Hal Abelson

"Atomic batteries to power, turbines to speed." -- Robin, The Boy Wonder

Veni, Vidi, VISA: I came, I saw, I did a little shopping.

SCCS, the source motel! Programs check in and never check out! -- Ken Thompson

How many surrealists does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One to hold the giraffe and one to fill the bathtub with brightly colored power tools.

People are always available for work in the past tense.

HEAD CRASH!! FILES LOST!! Details at 11.

If money can't buy happiness, I guess you'll just have to rent it.

1.79 x 10^12 furlongs per fortnight -- it's not just a good idea, it's the law!

The use of money is all the advantage there is to having money. -- B. Franklin

One good reason why computers can do more work than people is that they never have to stop and answer the phone.

The explanation requiring the fewest assumptions is the most likely to be correct. -- William of Occam

When a fellow says, "It ain't the money but the principle of the thing," it's the money. -- Kim Hubbard

"Little prigs and three-quarter madmen may have the conceit that the laws of nature are constantly broken for their sakes." -- Friedrich Nietzsche

A rock store eventually closed down; they were taking too much for granite.

One man's constant is another man's variable. -- A.J. Perlis

Logic doesn't apply to the real world. -- Marvin Minsky

How many NASA managers does it take to screw in a lightbulb? "That's a known problem... don't worry about it."

This system will self-destruct in five minutes.

"Plan to throw one away. You will anyway." - Fred Brooks, "The Mythical Man Month"

I have not yet begun to byte!

The opposite of a correct statement is a false statement. But the opposite of a profound truth may well be another profound truth. -- Niels Bohr

Top Ten Things Overheard At The ANSI C Draft Committee Meetings: (1) Gee, I wish we hadn't backed down on 'noalias'.

"Floggings will continue until morale improves." -- anonymous flyer being distributed at Exxon USA

My computer can beat up your computer. - Karl Lehenbauer