@sophianyx.bsky.social What do you consider to be the best love song? You like to ask the questions but you never answer them. I like “Always on my Mind” by Willie Nelson.

Everyone gather round. I have a singular message and it applies to every single one of you. You are OK. You are loved. Live in peace and prosperity.

I’ve long said that I don’t trust anyone who doesn’t like dogs. I very much distrust people who dogs don’t like.

Tony Romo has an estimated net worth of $80 million. I find it hard to believe he couldn’t afford an Uber. I don’t have anywhere near that amount of money, but I’ve asked bartenders to call me a taxi. They always obliged. Happy to do it.

If you could create a Venn diagram of Lenny Kravitz and Yogi Berra it would be “It ain’t over till it’s over.”

My nephew’s birthday is coming up and I thought I might send him some treats (cookies and such). Why is the company selling the treats making it so onerous to buy something? Are they allergic to money? I would say, “You want to give me money? Cool!” Not, “Now fill out all these forms!” Madness.

I want to say something about drag queens. Don’t worry. This is positive. My wife grew up without a mother. Her dad was an attorney that defended a lot of people on 1A issues including homosexuals having the right to do whatever. Some of his clients, gay men who were drag queens, acted as a

Yesterday, I went to jury duty. I dressed business casual, and I didn’t get picked. I asked myself, “Did I shave my balls for this?” Also, I’ll add that it’s bullshit when they charge you for parking when you’re required to come to the courthouse for jury duty. It was only $3 but still…

Let’s make a list of things Donald Trump has never done: (feel free to add) Never learned to drive a vehicle above a golf cart. Never bought groceries in a store. Never cooked with any of his wives. Never washed a dish. Never played with his children or grandchildren. There’s more. Pile on.

Random thought: are you better with names or faces? I seem to be better with faces.

I hope all of you who can see this appreciate how often I censor myself. There are quite a few weird thoughts in my brain. I drank a shot of that Willie Nelson THC drink. I’m mellow, but having weird thoughts. Which animal is more dangerous? Hippo or Mosquito? That’s not even the weirdest one.

You know what’s weird? We are seeing storms moving from east to west. I don’t recall ever seeing that before. It’s always been west to east. Something is different.

Want to know what’s grinding my gears right now? Tuesday. That’s right. Tuesday. This is the day that trash and recycling are picked up in our neighborhood. It’s always my duty. He he. Doody. I just took them out, washed my hands and I’m kind of fuming about my doody. It’s not a real big deal.

It’s fun when these things line up.

You know what’s weird about the World Cup trophy? It’s a bunch of hands reaching for a ball. What’s the one part of your body you’re not supposed to use in this sport? Right? Unless you’re the goalkeeper, but still…

Real or fictional, who is the best Ryan? It could be any of the following or your own choice: Meg Ryan Private Ryan Ryan Gosling Ryan Reynolds etc. You get the idea. Feel free to post your own. Happy Sunday! ✌️

My wife and I cannot disagree on a house. We both want basically the same things. How in the hell are we going to be cast on “House Hunters?”

I just watched this episode of “Dateline” where a woman was shot in the face. She survived. Lost her left eye. After her recovery she thanked Jesus. How how about thanking the doctors? Spoiler alert! The husband hired some dipshits to do the job. He’s in jail.

@texas-rangers.bsky.social Any of you guys who follow this account know what’s going on with RSN abruptly switching from Victory+ to this half baked Bzzr thing? I know that it’s Friday and the game is on channel 33, but I don’t feel that much better. I’m sure the whole thing is about fees.

The dog is broken. 🐶

You want to know what’s grinding my gears? ABC said they wouldn’t broadcast the speech tonight. You know the one. Anyway, we were watching “Press Your Luck” and the fuckers preempted the show halfway through. Why? Just put it on your “news” channel. Can’t a motherfucker just watch a game show?

The over/under for the World Cup semi-final game is 2.5 total goals scored. Do I take the over or the under? I need to call my bookie. This is time sensitive! 🤪

I like it when things like this line up in my timeline.

Keep your chins up, everyone. Willie Nelson is still alive and kicking at 93 years old.

Regarding Lindsey Graham, I don’t have any strong feelings either way. I’m not happy. I’m not sad. I’m “meh.” They say that these things happen in threes. Please make Putin next.

My wife says to me that she wants to go see “The Odyssey.” I said, “No, you don’t.” “Why,” she asked. I said, “It’s nearly three hours long and you get cranky at around 90 minutes.” She said, “Yeah, I don’t want to see it in the theater.” So, we will wait for streaming. We need the pause button.

I don’t if anyone who might see this has had a similar experience, but let me describe this. The last week or so, I’ve been getting calls from a telemarketer. They do this “clever” thing where the call comes from a number that has my area code and prefix. They’re clearly spoofing.

🧵There is something going down in our neighborhood. We have a next door neighbor who is certifiably insane. That’s where we will start. We’ve lived here for ten years. My first interaction with her was when we were installing new floors. I came at lunch to inspect and send pics to my wife.

Has anyone watched the documentary film “Born Rich”? I think you can find it on YouTube. There’s a scene with Ivanka where she describes a time when she was walking with her dad and he pointed to a homeless man and said, “That guy has $2 billion dollars more than me.” Watch the move if you wish. ✌️

Sorry. I’m going to have to call my bookie and let him know that I will be in an undisclosed location indefinitely.