i was a very stupid kobold (stupidER) because i thought JG Wentworth would just give you money if you called them
Gizmo the Yipster
@spacedoutkoblet.bsky.social
Just a 35yo kobold who loves starfleet, pokemon and fnaf. WARNING: KOBOLD MAY BITE.
apparently the fact i never had any friends to play with for my entire childhood is REALLY FUCKING WEIRD
"your character is an edgelord because they have a tragic backstory" he didn't become an edgelord because of his tragedy, the tragedy was because he USED to be an edgelord. it's used as a catalyst to make him a better person.
"stop using autism as an excuse" yeah, just like people who can't use their legs use that as an excuse to not walk.
some good news: all but confirmed to be getting a new PC
"you'll find someone some day" yeah and the way my life is, that day will be the same day i die from a meteor fragment smashing my skull
i want to make a game called "kill your crush" where your goal is to kill every single crush who hurt you, the guys who stole them from you, and everyone who laughed at you for being alone.
if Steve Irwin was still around, i bet he would have voiced Gummigoo im kinda glad that isn't the case because i love being mistaken for the actual VA because my impression is that accurate.
@charlesuchi.bsky.social this loser has to like random posts to advertise themselves because they know their apps are DOGSHIT
Cat Laughing At You
ALT: Cat Laughing At You
static.klipy.com
you think you have a good friendship going then out of nowhere they ghost you and THEN they go "being your friend is bad for everyone's mental health" jfc i hate people like that if you want me dead that much just come and fucking kill me!
how do i block the neurons that feel love and affection? i never, ever want to fall in love with anyone ever again.
time for me to do harmful things to myself because its better than sitting here miserable and alone
kobolds are pokemon 1) they come in many different "types", that being their breath weapon 2) they say one thing over and over 3) there's shiny variants 4) when you knock them out, they get swirly eyes 5)
someone please invent a warp drive so i can live on literally any planet but this one
what i hear when someone says they're leaning, based on my experience: "i say im bi but i still only ever date the opposite sex. you could be literally the most perfect human but i still wouldn't date you because you're the same sex as me."
i would love to have a pokemon-themed wedding where my wife-to-be and i are dressed as mega gallade and mega gardevoir
i love finding out im the only one in a group that nobody likes
i love going to worlds full of furries and a dragon goes "Ooh! A kobold!" before relentlessly petting me
eventually we'll have to start saying c***erole and p***port and ****ake mushroom.