Stagger McTipsy, AKA Captain Awesome Motherfucker
@staggermctipsy.bsky.social
What matters most is how well you walk through the fire. I have come here to chew bubblegum and kick ass. And I'm all out of bubblegum.
Chevron, United Airlines, TikTok, Oracle, Exxon/Mobil, and RTX (defense contractors) for those who want the truncated version of places to avoid spending money.
Politico@politico.com · 5d agoNew disclosures reveal $9M in corporate donations to Trump's Freedom 250
I get impatient in the waiting room, stand in the sitting room, use the toilet in the bathroom, and hope to die in the living room. I'm not sure if the English language is goofy or I'm just doing a lot of indoor things wrong.
For no reason at all I decided to list horror movie icons based on the lowest probability of surviving an encounter if they were angry at you. In no order: Pinhead Carrie Godzilla
It kinda creeps me out when someone posts something to social media then goes into a panic if a stranger replies or comments. Like, what do those people think social media is for? It's not for communicating with people you already know; real humans do that in person or via call, text or email.
"Fluffernutter" is a truly unfortunate name for a sandwich.
I feel like not enough people give the Cheech and Chong movie "Up In Smoke" its proper credit for partially being a police procedural documentary.
Back from the front lines, happy to report the food spread was better than usual this year, unhappy to report anyone who is still a MAGAt by now is completely unsalvageable. Sadly, that even goes for the ones who had once ranged from tolerable to almost pleasant in the past.
Going to my neighbor's today and I bet they have Fox News on and I bet the hosts will be saying some shit about how despite all evidence to the contrary the picnic thing has huge crowds and I bet I get giggly pointing out some obvious stupidities and falsehoods. That plus free food? Seems fun to me.
For anyone who wants to read yet another unsurprising news story:
ProPublica@propublica.org · 2mo agoAfter defense officials got a request to push through a deal with a firm tied to Donald Trump Jr., Pentagon staff moved at an unusually rapid pace. “The call came from the White House: We have to get this done,” said one person involved.
Pay for this or I shall be forced to send infected animals to shit on your doorstep. See that woman outfitted in trash bags fighting a hedge while screaming racial slurs? Want that poop on your stoop? Right. So either subscribe or face the wrath of infected bowels. Your choice, don't be stupid.
Mike Tanier@miketanier.bsky.social · 2mo agoIt's a heck of a promotion and a chance to donate to a good cause. Come check us out!
Watching The Texas Chainsaw Massacre thinking: If you knock on the door of a house and no one answers but you stroll in anyway and a guy wearing a butcher's smock and a skinmask made from other people's faces smacks you in the head with a sledgehammer, really you have no right to bitch about it.
@greggrosenthal.bsky.social Eating a waffle by hand whilst wandering through a neighborhood is underrated as a self-defense tactic. Nobody will mess with you, and it's way simpler than donning a garbage bag and starting an altercation with a lamppost or skipping through in a bloody hospital gown.
You know what would be funny? If McDonald's refused service to Trump.
This qualifies for the Biggest Shitbag In History award. Anyone working in the Forest Service in Florida should round up all the extremely violently dangerous wild animals they can and turn them loose at Mar-A-Lago.
Brian Tyler Cohen@briantylercohen.bsky.social · 4mo agoBreaking: Trump orders the dismantling of the US Forest Service. All regional offices are being shut down and the research program destroyed.
It's the end of the world as we know it, and I have an extremely sore left foot.
There's no way anyone can convince me Donald Trump is not a fump. For those who don't know, a fump is a person who farts in the bathtub and bites the bubbles.
Discover how green sea turtles use sponges as cozy beds for their underwater naps. A yawn is just part of their relaxation routine! #TurtleLife #OceanConservation
I like it when I chase someone off just by calling them on their bullshit. Look, here's my position regarding social media. If you post an obvious lie, fine. Like I give a shit. Just don't post lies that other people could think are true and end up resulting in death. Are my expectations too strict?
Just a public service announcement: The guy quoted below is completely full of shit and it's so important for him to perpetuate this self-made mythos of him being a brave hero with balls of steel that he's willing to put other people's lives at risk to keep his lie going. Something Trump would do.
This is for those who need some faith in humanity. Today a homeless guy offered to share his pizza with me. Not like some dumpster pizza either, he was sitting right outside where he had purchased it. Didn't ask me for anything. I figured he needed it more than I did, so I declined and thanked him.
Pizza should be a health food. Grilled grains, vegetables and proteins. Which one of those is unhealthy? Only humans are stupid enough to take good ingredients and intentionally use them to make bad things.
BOMB ALL EPSTEIN'S BUDDIES. (I ran out of political ideas I hadn't already seen floated around, and apparently we need to use up bombs that are set to expire or something.)
Motorhead isn't in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame and that's the quickest answer I can give as an explanation if someone was to ask me why the world's so fucked up.
Here's a thought to linger on: WHY IS IT THAT ALL THE COLLECTIVE FORCE OF ALL THE SMART PEOPLE ON THE PLANET CAN'T KEEP ALL THE STUPID PEOPLE ON THE PLANET FROM RUNNING EVERYTHING AND DOING STUPID STUFF?!?!?!! Humans are the only thing dumber than humans.
Being the first person to take a shit in space must have been terrifying.
Sea turtles can sleep underwater for even 4–7 hours while foraging time is much shorter, on average 5–40 minutes underwater. Original post
So apparently the movie Fifty Shades of Grey is not about 50 different interpretations of the Biohazard song. So many failures succeeding at failing so hard here.
I bet Trump is totally the type of person who gets into a disagreement with someone on social media, loses embarrassingly and decisively, then quickly blocks the correspondent to illegitimately claim an imaginary victory.
