My daughter doesn't want to eat the crust of bread anymore. I replied, "but it's like apples. Half the nutrients are in the skin."

I love my PlayTiles, and I'm excited for this new 4 button variant.

Playtiles@playtiles.bsky.social · 4w ago

🐱 Playtiles x Mega Cat Studios Collection is here! We teamed up with @megacatstudios.bsky.social for a special bundle: an exclusive Playtiles controller that turns your smartphone (iOS/Android) into a handheld, with 7 games from their catalogue! 👉 Learn more: limited.playtil.es/campaign.htm...

I been stalking the fireflies for an hour. Just waiting on the stoop for them to start courting. Now they're on, and imma walk into the woods a bit and see if they look better there than in front of my house.

just sat on my stoop waiting for fireflies to start dancing

I'd like to tell you a story, but where to start eludes me.

late spring petrichor just hits different, deeper, an earthiness that gets in all your airways, makes it so you almost believe you understand the birdsong

front step sat birdsong fills the air butterflies dance by beneath cars race past on the highway, through the forest, right of way written in concrete

ice cream so good you don't put on YouTube while you eat it

That sure was some windy fucking wind.

fucknomenal: adj: the state of being extraordinary in some way, and is also being a very bad thing™

Maple syrup is an underrated beverage.

*contains 120% your daily recommended allowance of inane bullshit

romantic poet forsaken by the muse once worshipped in their thesaurus

I am so frustrated with how thoroughly words elude me these days.

organic free range hallucinations

~insert shitpost here~

"What's the longest you've ever contemplated which end of the pickle is its butt before you took a bite? Did you eat it? If so, first or last?" "That presumes I don't eat it sideways like a civilized person." "..."

stilted gait of speech that comes from being socialized by AI chatbots

Why do the directions on frozen foods specify "conventional ovens"? What if my oven reads in °K? Or has a ferris wheel of roasting pans facing a massive red hot flatiron? What do you say then, Sir Gorton's Fisherman?

"...more slippery than a buttered dildo..."

I'd love to be in conversation with myself some time. I got questions for that guy.

I don't even like graham crackers, but if you shape them sumbitches as teddy bears or bunnies I am so fucking in.

I think almonds ruin the texture of a trail mix.

Perhaps I should preemptively apologize for this, but I thought it and I need to get it out of my brain. Aesthetically Pleasing Poop

The best thing about listening to video game music in your headphones is that vast swaths of your life now feel like side quests and score chases.

Old dude just stopped me on the Ave near where I live and said "Good Morning, Santa." Day: Made

I had some poetry, once upon a sometime, but I seem to have misplaced it, I hope I still have it in me, somewhere

Doogie Howser MD had 9 year old me fantasizing about having a computer and journaling nightly. 46 year old me wishes I had made that reality.

If everything can be described as deriving from some sort of sub atomic movement (big If, I know), then isn't the world really just all vibes?

Dr LinkedIn and Mr Tumblr would be a great Chuck Tingle title.