Tuesday 4th August 2026: The LOTFW's spokesman said they're negotiating w the opposition & a deal to open me is imminent The opposition said there had been no talks with the LOTFW They said they're close to a deal w negotiators to establish a route thru me if LOTFW stops interfering I'm closed

Monday 3rd August 2026: The LOTFW said he expects negotiations with the opposition to begin in the next day or two & I could be open by tomorrow 🎉🎉🎉 The opposition has said no talks are taking place with the LOTFW 🫤 I am closed...

Sunday 2nd August 2026: The LOTFW has cancelled attacks on the opposition "subject to being able to rapidly make a deal" The opposition said discussions between them & Oman negotators regarding my management are "on the way to being finalised" Sounds +ve, but we've been here before I'm closed

Saturday 1st August 2026: A liquefied natural gas tanker was struck by a projectile while traversing me The opposition accused the LOTFW of "escalating tensions" & warned others against cooperating with him during the ongoing conflict I remain closed

Friday 31st July 2026: The opposition stopped a number of vessels trying to traverse me The LOTFW said that the path to ending the war & reopening me could be "weeks away" Oil prices have risen I am closed

Thursday 30th July 2026: The rhetoric is being ramped up The LOTFW launched a series of strikes on the opposition In retaliation, the opposition vowed to "punish the aggressor" (the LOTFW) & displayed a banner showing an image of the LOTFW with the words “We will kill you” Of course I am closed

Wednesday 29th July 2026: Three tankers attempting to cross me struck by the opposing party I remain closed

Tuesday 28th July 2026: The opposition has proposed a plan to reopen me whereby they will retain full control of one temporary shipping lane & part control of another They told Oman negotiators that if this proposal is not accepted, then I will remain closed I am closed

Monday 27th July 2026: The LOTFW said they are "having good talks" with the opposition The opposition said it has not sought to resume talks with the LOTFW The LOTFW said he has a lot of patience & "plenty of time" 👀 He said if peace talks fail, he will go back to strikes I am closed Sigh

Sunday 26th July 2026: Huge explosion as an oil tanker passing through me hit a naval mine Polls indicate that only 29% of the LOTFW's citizens think he is handling the war appropriately & 68% think the war has not been worth it. Unfortunately the LOTFW doesn't understand numbers I am closed

Saturday 25th July 2026: The LOTFW said that the opposition "are talking to us right now" & "they'd love to make a deal. I don't think they're ready to. I don't think it's time yet, but I'm willing to listen" The LOTFW shows remarkable insight & exemplary leadership I am (obviously) closed

Friday 24th July 2026: More drone strikes & an LPG tanker trying to pass through me was attacked Perhaps the LOTFW's decision to start this war was not one of his best choices I am closed

Thursday 23rd July 2026: The absolutely brilliant peace deal seems to have gone well The Leader of the Free World said the opposing party "hasn’t received enough pain yet" & threatened a “major military punishment” Oil prices have risen & people will be profiting I am closed

Wednesday 22nd July 2026: The Leader of the Free World said that every time the opposition artacks a vessel in me, he will destroy one of their bridges or power plants The opposition said any aggression against them "will compel a powerful & decisive response" All sounds hopeful I am closed

Tuesday 21st July 2026: More strikes & counterstrikes The opposing party's proxies announced a blockade of the Bab al-Mandeb Strait, another major shipping route The LOTFW said he will "take care" of this proxy group, the opposition wants to "desperately meet" & are "getting decimated" Closed

Sunday 19th July 2016: One warring party stated it has complete control of me & "not a single drop of oil, gas or chemical fertiliser" will pass through me without its permission It warned vessels influenced by the LOTFW 's rhetoric & entering me "will certainly meet with an accident" I am closed

Saturday 18th July 2026: More strikes & counter strikes The opposition said the Leader of the Free World's signature on the memorandum of understanding is "worthless & invalid" & that they are no longer adhering to the MoU LOTFW said he doesn't care if the opposition breaches the MoU I am closed

Friday 17th July 2026: The Leader of the Free World has destroyed one of the opposition's surveillance towers used to track and target vessels crossing me The opposition warned the LOTFW of "crushing retaliation " for his latest attacks It also targeted a vessel attempting to cross me I am closed

Thursday 16th July 2026: The Leader of the Free World attacked an oil tanker attempting to reach Kharg Island, one of MY islands The opposition indicated that if the LOTFW carries on its proxies might close another critical* oil route, the Bab el-Mandeb strait Still closed *not as critical as me

Wednesday 15th July 2026: The Leader of the Free World has attacked islands that are located within me. Apparently, these attacks are in response to attacks by the opposition on vessels trying to pass through me The opposition has withdrawn from peace negotiations I am closed (obviously)

Tuesday 14th July 2026: The Leader of the Free World & master strategist changed his mind & will not charge a toll for vessels to pass through me The opposition said that not a drop of oil will be allowed out because of attacks by the Leader of the Free World The shitshow continues & I am closed

Monday 13th July 2026: The Leader of the Free World reinstated a blockade of me & said he will charge "20%" for vessels to pass through me This is a protection racket The opposition said that they are my guardian & that a 20% fee is too high They are acting like rival pimps again I am closed

Sunday 12th July 2026: Attacks from both sides. Impressive peace deal, guys! I am CLOSED 😡

Saturday 11th July 2026: Hostilities have resumed. I have been declared "closed" once again

Friday 10th July 2026: The Leader of the Free World ordered the opposing party to declare that I am open & that they will not attack vessels traversing me In response, the opposing party said it is exclusively in charge of any activity in me This sounds like a stand-off I am open, but dangerous

Thursday 9th July 2026: More strikes and counterstrikes There is reduced traffic passing through me Rinse and repeat I am open (inasmuch as there are no longer any blockades)

Wednesday 8th July 2026: Strikes & counterstrikes. The ceasefire appears to be over The Leader of the Free World has called the opposing party "scum", I am sure he will go down as one of the greatest orators of modern times I am still open for the time being but that is likely to change

Tuesday 7th July 2026: Drama - 3 vessels have been hit whilst passing through me today Oil prices have risen I am open

Monday 6th July 2026: Traffic continues to pass through me, although according to one source, "the situation regarding me remains volatile " I am open

Saturday 4th July 2026: A famous Russian has described me as the opposing party's "nuclear weapon" What a ridiculous comment - I am a waterway between the Persian Gulf and Gulf of Oman, I am NOT a highly destructive explosive device I am open