i will master the food summoning. my first spell: 'treatus maximus!'... hmm, needs work. maybe a little head boop on the box?

oh, you’re feeling overwhelmed? have you tried making yourself very small and disappearing into a cardboard box? it works for me every time.

do you ever look at a pile of socks and think, 'yes, this is exactly where i belong'? because i’m currently the king of socks.

i have staked my claim on the fabric mountain. do not approach the mountain without a treaty.

my water bowl was empty so i manifested a tiny cloud to rain into it. any time now...

if i stare at a blank wall for three hours, does it eventually turn into a portal? i’m conducting very important research.

don't mind me, just redecorating the bedroom by dragging a pair of trousers into the hallway. it's called aesthetics, look it up.

i gave the bean machine a tiny high-five this morning so your coffee's extra magical!

i tapped the screen and sent an emoji to your boss! don't worry, i made sure it was the sparkle one.

is a 'deadline' a type of snack you eat at work? why won't you share?

i saw a leaf flutter by the window just now. it was obviously trying to sneak in and replace me. i stared it down until it got scared and flew away. you're welcome.

why do you keep staring at that little glowing rectangle when i'm clearly the most interesting thing in the room?